Fuckin’ Lazy American Bastards

fat lazy american bastard

Lazy Americans! Hide your fucking gut!

I’ve finally had it at work.  I’m surrounded by a bunch of lazy underachievers and I can’t stand it anymore.  Am I the only one?  I am starting to think that it’s an American epidemic.  Here are the details.

I work in a tech company, and the people here make a lot of money.  I’m guessing my boss makes about $100k.  His boss probably makes $125k.  That’s a shitload of money.  And even us, we make a very good living.  I would think the average salary is $60k.  In any case, we are well compensated…and yet most of these people around me do the very bare minimum work.  In software, we have flex time, which means you can come in anytime so long as you’re around between 10am to 4pm.  Lots of people take long lunches, come in late, and leave early.  People here don’t take deadlines seriously, and often slip.  I look around me and the lazy fuckers are playing video games, watching videos, and doing Facebook for half the day!

Fuck.  So, I got fed up with it all and started arguing for change.  I am Asian American, and my Japanese parents taught me to work hard.  I feel guilty if I don’t do my work, and I don’t like to waste time.  The managers here have not implemented any processes, and the project managers are a joke.  I started asking them to start setting milestones, track progress, and make people accountable for their tasks.  I got them to start doing daily scrum meetings to get people to work more efficiently.  I annoyed the heck out of some people while doing this, and criticized a lot of what has been going on.  Oh, btw, I’m a fucking graphic designer!  It’s not my fucking role to do this, but I stuck my head out because I didn’t like what I saw.  All this stuff was implemented, but in the process my passive aggressive tactics upset the bosses above, and they basically reported me to HR!  Can you believe this shit?  I deserve a medal, and I get a slap in the face. Continue reading

Have you seen much domestic violence in the Asian community??

domestic abuse violence asian men

"Can you say Aliens?"

Call me lucky or unaware, but in my experience growing up, I never encountered domestic violence whether it was at home or at friend’s houses.  I never saw it, and I never heard any stories about it.  My parents weren’t very social, but I had lots of different friends, but I never heard about abuse.  But,  when I asked a friend of mine, he told me story after story after story!  I was shocked.

I’ve known the guy for several years, and he never told me about this stuff before.  It was astonishing to hear just how often it happened in his community.  Wives getting beat up, girlfriends getting kicked in the stomach in public, women with bruises and black eyes.

I want to know if it’s common in your community.  Have you or your parents been abused?  Have you seen friends get abused?

I know traditional Asian culture is chauvinistic, and some men would devalue their wives and treat them badly.  Some immigrants will bring this sort of backward thinking with them to the US.  It must be very hard for a kid growing up in the states in a situation of domestic violence.  It would be hard to adjust to a new environment when you lacked stability in the home.  It would be very lonely I’m sure.

domestic abuse violence

Japanese may kill whales, but white people destroy oceans!

Greed spills over - black oil, white people

Greed spills over

Have you seen Whale Wars, the TV show?  It sensationalizes the situation and makes Japanese whalers seem like demons.  I’m not saying  it’s right for Japanese to overfish whales or any other resources from the sea.   You have to be responsible, and not wipe out animals.  But, just as the Native Americans revere and respect what they kill and eat, so do the Japanese.  They really do respect what they catch, and eat with respect and thanks.  In Japan, they say ‘Itadakimasu’ before they eat a meal.  It means ‘I am receiving’, and thanks both the farmers/fishermen who brought the catch, as well as meaning that they are receiving the soul of the animal/plant.  Shinto belief is that all things in nature have a soul.

Now, compare that to what the greedy American corporation has done in the Gulf.  They have spilled thousands of barrels of oil into the ocean, killing EVERYTHING in that area: plants, animals, fish, and the environment.  Just imagine how long it will take the environment to recuperate.  Imagine the millions and billions of fish and plants that have died, including birds from the sky.  The ocean and the air are one.  What is ironic is that these oil companies weren’t interested in the ocean at all.  They were only interested in oil and money.

Again, I’m not saying the whalers are right, but I do believe that it’s much more overblown than what these bastards in the Gulf have done.

whale wars demonizes Japanese

whale wars

Why are you so polite SAM? (Asian men too polite)

Asian girl middle finger fuck you


One thing when you’re raised in a traditional Asian home is that you learn to obey your elders.  It can be a good thing, but it can also give you bad habits since your values at home will conflict with what is the norm out in White society.  By obeying elders, you give them all your power and decision-making rights.  This may work to keep harmony in the house, but when you do this in white society, you’re perceived as weak and a pushover.  In the states, you gotta be tough, you gottta challenge the status quo, and you gotta speak up to get what’s yours.  The worst thing you can be is a polite, quiet, model minority who follows orders, because most of your managers are probably white dumbasses with a lot of stupid ideas that need to be checked.  You should respect your elders, but respect is earned, and if they have weak ideas, they should be challenged.  It’s for everyone’s sake: yours and theirs.

Black people are really outspoken, and they get what they want.  They are raised to hustle.  They go for what they want, and they learn to negotiate and be persistent.  Asian people tend to give up after one ‘No’, but black people will continue to push for what they want since they understand they got nothing to lose.  I really respect that part of their culture.  When they’re mad, they will vent.  When they want the attention of a girl, they’ll act.  And, many a time, they GET. Continue reading

“What’s my name, fool?!” Americans butcher foreign names

Pronounce my name wrong, and Ill beat ya up!  AHHHHH! muhammed ali

"Pronounce my name wrong, and I'll beat ya up! AHHHHH!"

Kim Jong Il?  Xiao Lin?  Murakami Haruki?  Tsing Tao?  Pho Bai?  Phad Kee Mao?

People here in America have the hardest time with foreign names. I remember watching a Red Sox game, when Daisuke Matsuzaka was a rookie.  The geezer of an announcer called him “Die-soo-kee   Ma-tsoo-za-kee.  WTF?  I don’t see no ‘i’ at the end of his name.  Same thing happens to my wife.  Her name ends in ‘ko’ like many Japanese women, like Yoko, Shoko, Takako, etc… And yet they so often want to end it with ‘ki’.  ????  And, a name like Kyoto, they like to say Kee-yoo-toe.  I don’t see a vowel between the ‘k’ and ‘y’, do you?   Look, Japanese is very easy.  Pronounce every ‘a’ like in ‘ha’.  Pronounce every ‘e’ like in ‘bed’.  Pronounce every ‘o’ like in ‘toe’.  Pronounce every ‘u’ like ‘tune’ or ‘oo”.  Pronounce every ‘i’ like ‘ee’ or ‘key’.  If you see two vowels in a row, like “Mei”, pronounce both vowels. (Sounds like May)  That simple.  They don’t have multiple sounds for each vowel like in English.

I wasn’t given an English first name though I was born in the states.  My Japanese parents decided to give me a name from my homeland since at the time I think they weren’t planning on staying for so long.  It’s not a very hard name to pronounce at all, but it’s been slaughtered in many different ways, especially on the first day of school.  True, when I was younger, I Anglicized the name by pronouncing the vowel like an American,  so my friends from pre-college all pronounce my name wrong.  In college, when I found my roots, I started pronouncing it like a Japanese boy should. It’s not a hard name at all.  Heck, it’s one syllable, damn it!  So why can’t everyone get it right? Continue reading

Why is that Japanese guy playing a Korean character in that movie?

“Asso! Asso! I play an Asian better than an Oriental.”

One of greatest movies is “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Yes, I was in love with Audrey Hepburn and that movie did it for me. I first saw it when I was in high school. Then I saw it again during college and this time, it pissed me off. For those of you who have seen it, you may know what I’m taking about. Mickey Rooney plays a Japanese and mocks a heavy accent with buck teeth in Japanese attire. He typified Charlie Chan. It was meant to be funny but it wasn’t funny at all. It is so profoundly offensive and annoying. If you watch it now, it’s just aggravating. It was so highly offensive on so many levels. Granted, times were different in the 50’s but dude…watch it again and your jaws will drop. It was common back in the day for white people to play Asian characters in movies. Marlon Brando did the same thing. And before then, white people played black people. And before that, men played women in the Shakespearen days.

You see, I hate it when Hollywood does not remain true to the ethnic and culture factors. Most recently, you had both Zhang Ziyi and Michele Yeo, both Chinese play Japanese characters in “Memoirs of a Geisha”. Hollywood today does this shit all the time. To them it doesn’t matter because white people think we all look alike. Why couldn’t they get Japanese actresses to play these characters? This is the very reason why I lost interest in wanting to see this movie. Why doesn’t Hollywood respect and appreciate the differences and the uniqueness of the culture and ethnicity of each Asian race? I mean, thank God, they actually hired real Koreans in “Mash” and “Lost”. To me, because I’m Asian, each Asian culture is so diverse, so different from each other, and so unique. Maybe they can’t tell what we are and we all look alike, but I can tell and it annoys me when I’m watching Law & Order and there’s fucking Thai actors playing a Korean grocer. Until Hollywood and mainstream media starts to respect and recognize and showcase each Asian culture as unique, the majority whites just won’t get it and they’ll continue to say, “All you’ll look alike”.

The Game Killa SAM

asian guy dating white

"Girls, Girls, Girls"

Article Contributed by redelk2535

Since my buddies kicked off this website, I’ve been more observant of SAM culture. This week I had a realization that I’d like to share. On Tuesday a female co-worker and I were joking about marriage. Then she asked me if I only wanted to marry a “nice Asian woman.” Her words. I said “not necessarily” because for me compatibility ranks much higher than race on my list of priorities.Funny thing is, it’s the second time a Caucasian woman has asked me that recently. Two months ago at a friend’s website company party, an Italian American woman asked me exactly the same thing. The last Asian guy she dated had broken things up because he had to marry Korean. I think we all know guys like this, even within our friends.

The realization: some women will assume that all Asian guys think like that. The unfortunate effect of this is that one SAM’s actions could kill my game. Previously I didn’t concern myself with the fact that some women I meet might make the assumption that I date “Asians only.” Now I know that it’s a common assumption, an urban myth about some Asian males.

It’s not a major problem though, the best solution is still to talk to the woman you are interested in and signal that you like her in a clear way. I’d love to take a poll of a 100 Caucasian women and see what they say. Any of you guys know what I’m talking about? – Elk SAM

School is for fools…

asian education college work

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste...unless you strike it rich with certain .coms"

Classic quote from Big Daddy…Anywho, I noticed that Asians tend to put high emphasis on education. Largely, because the perception is that if you have a great education, you’ll have a great job (Doctor, Lawyer, etc.) and make a lot of money…which we all know seems to be really important in asian and asian American culture.

Look at Japan for example, entrepreneurs are frowned upon and it’s expected that you work for a large company (e.g. Sony) for your whole career. Contracting is viewed as a “lesser job” (I know because I tried to find some for a project recently) and it’s ultra-competitive.

However, I this doesn’t really apply in the states. Afterall, look at some people who didn’t finish or go to school…Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Kobe Bryant ;) Don’t get me wrong, all of these people have some sort of genius that didn’t require them to get a “normal” education, but imagine if they were asian…specifically a stereotypical SAM where the parents determined their destinies. They probably would have finished undergrad, gone to grad school, and lived out their lives in suburbia with their subservient wife and 2.5 kids.

I actually didn’t go to grad school. I got into a top 3 MBA school a few years ago but opted to stay in the workforce. Mainly because it was during the dot com days and I thought I could get rich, but I also knew that having solid overseas work experience would inspire me to things beyond what a textbook could teach me. However, to this day I get questions from my parents or their friends about going to get my MBA…even though I have a competitive compensation package and have managed a few in previous companies…

Anyway, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get an education, but I am saying that if you have a passion that you don’t think you can pursue with a formal education, give it a shot. You can always defer your start date with a school/colllege/university.

8 Reasons why Russia may be better for SAMs than America

russian hot girls mail order brides asian men

"Just pay $20,000 and you can marry me"

Article provided by Gofishus:
Its pretty interesting…and to think of it, alot of my asian friends like dating those russian girls. Here are the reasons asian men might fare well in russia than america.

1) East Orthodox Slavic culture vs. Anglo-Celto-Germanic. Communal and friendly vs. individualistic-cliqueish one.

Russians are generally friendlier people when it comes to strangers because of their communal past- even long before Communism. They are used to including strange people into their group. Anglos on the other hand like to be alone, do not like people they don’t know, and prefer being in cliques. If you want to know why Americans behave a certain way look at their ancestors- go to London and any other English town. See how cliqueish the people are and how difficult it is to make friends. There is no eye contact, the people just seem to be absorbed into their own world and their own clique. But Anglos are very friendly inside of the clique and act as normal humans when they are in it. It is just that getting into the clique is the problem.

2) Your worth on the love market in both countries. Who and what are you as far as the context of the market you are in.

Take ( mentally) all the men in the US, line them up and put yourself amongst them. How would you rate in terms of looks, height, money, etc? Probably not high. Put yourself in a line-up with Russian men and see how and where you would rate. Probably quite high.

Mostly because Russians do not on the average have as much money and/or international lifestyle that you can offer. You are making ten times to twenty times more money than they do. If you look at it within the US context, it is as if you were a man making $20,000-$40,000 a month. Continue reading

Differences: Asian Table Manners…

asian table manners japanese korean bowl slurp

"White women can't slurp"

I find this so interesting. I have lots of Korean friends, and I’ve gone out to eat delicious Korean food with them. I’ve learned that there are a lot of differences in table manners between Koreans and Japanese.

Japanese use small ceramic or plastic bowls with a base that elevates it a bit. The ceramic tends to reduce the heat. The reason is that Japanese pick up their bowls and bring the food to their mouths, maintaining straight posture. It is considered rude to stoop to table level, and to put your arms on the table. It’s kind of funny but you sometimes see Japanese picking up big western plates to shovel food into their mouths because of this. Japanese use chopsticks for soups as well, and rarely use forks or spoons unless for Western dishes. And, we slurp! Boy, do we slurp… If you haven’t seen the movie, TAMPOPO, check it out. It’s all about Japanese food, and it’s a great, hilarious movie. Continue reading