So I wanted to share with you all several experiences I had this past 2 weeks related to me being Asian:
- BBQ at friend’s house:
I went to an outdoor BBQ and while I was playing volleyball with the rest of the people, this one white dude whom I know just as an acquiantance kept saying “Go Mr. Miyagi!” and “Get that ball Miygai!” everytime I hit the ball. Nice right? Trust me, I look nothing like Mr. Miyagi or Pat Morita. And yeah, I was the only Asian person there and most of the white people were blue collar and/or rednecks. My first mistake – going to this BBQ.
- Goodbye party for a friend:
I went to a farewell party/dinner for a friend who was moving and there was this one obnoxious white guy who kept saying “Hey Ninja!” and “Miyagi go Karate!”. Why God do I have to put up with this? Why Miyagi? I fuckin hate that movie “The Karate Kid”. And he went on to say “You Asians are always screwing each other over” and “You Asians are always fighting with each other”. I got so mad that I whipped out my nunchuks and clonked him on his head but not before I did a chop suey across his chest. Hiya!
- At the coffee shop on a lazy Sunday afternoon:
I was sitting at a coffee shop just minding my own business when this white guy approached me and said “Ahn Young Ha Sae Yo!” I looked up and just smiled awkwardly. Mind you, I’ve encountered this before many times where an overly excited white person who happens to know a phrase or two in Korean or whatever has the urgent and desperate need to showcase their linguistic “talents”. This always annoys me though. First off, I’m not impressed. Second, if you’re going to say that to me in Korean, you better bow too motherfucker because I’m older than you. Third, leave leave leave me alone! Americans typically know only one language and some would argue that some don’t even know proper English at all. So when they happen to pick up a phrase in a foreign language they think they’re the shits all of a sudden. But all they really have done is butcher the Asian language. Hey, when I came to the U.S. as a young lad, did I go around saying “Howdy Partner!” to every white person?
- On the bus way to work:
This one happens to me from time to time – White person tells me with suprise “Wow, your English is pretty good!” LOL. Wow, I sure do hope my English is good since I grew up here in the U.S.
- On a date with a white girl I met online:
I get this all the time from white girls – “Wow, you’re pretty tall for an Asian guy” (I’m 6). I tell them, “Wow, you’re pretty slim for a white girl”.
- Random guy at the tennis court:
I had this one white person ask me “I’ve visited China recently and hardly saw any Chinese people on bikes.” Really? So he thought everybody in China still rides bicycles around like the good old days. Amazing.