Older white man seeking love from younger Asian women from Asia

cambodia interracial marriage younger asian girl older white man guy fetish

Really? Really?

So one thing that bothers me is when I see a much younger Asian woman, who can barely speak English, married or dating a much older white guy. This to me, in its entirety, represents all that is wrong such as the exploitation of Asians, the difference in socioeconomic class, race, Asian fetish (yellow fever), and past colonialism and American imperialism. This is quite common among white U.S. military guys who are stationed in Asian countries. But it’s also quite common whereby the older white guy literally moves to an Asian country and shack up with a much younger Asian woman in Asia.

Older white guy’s perspective:
I’m old, have a pot belly, hair is thinning out, divorced, my kids are grown, and I am single, lonely, horny, and ready for love. And I do love Asian women. I’ve got some money saved up and I’m having a hard time getting a date. I’ve looked online for Russian brides but the agencies initial setup fees are very expensive. Oh I know…I’ll go to Southeast Asia and find me a younger poor Asian girl! The U.S. dollar can be stretched so far in Vietnam, Cambodia, or even the Phillipines. And the women there love white foreigners. Here, I’m just a wrinkly old fart but there, I’m motherfuckin rock star.

Younger Southeast Asian woman’s perspective:
I’m unwed, have no kids, dirt poor, live in the rural village, and looking for a husband…a better life, a way out of this peasant hell hole. I can easily marry a fellow poor farmer here but I want a step-up. I want someone with money and who is of a higher status here and elsewhere…such as a Westerner. In their eyes, I’m a princess. I can’t speak English at all and the western foreigner can’t speak my language either. But that’s okay because our love has no boundaries. Everybody around me will be envious of me that I”m with a wealthy westerner.

Check out this article (from NPR News) on interracial marriages in Cambodia:

Cambodia Tries To Curb Foreign Men Seeking Wives

On any given night, foreign visitors throng the many bars, restaurants and hotels overlooking the Tonle Sap River on bustling Sisowath Quay in Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital. Among them, foreign men accompanied with Cambodian women are a common sight.

Just up the street is Rory’s Pub, where a Celtic cross and a Bushmills whiskey sign hang on the wall.

“It’s really nice here; it’s a very laid-back city,” observes the pub’s owner, 45-year-old Seattle native Chad Foucher. “There’s plenty of things to do. It’s cheap to live here, and I think that’s the draw for people to come here and live.”

Also working behind the bar is Foucher’s 23-year-old Cambodian wife, whom he married last year.

Foucher says that’s a good thing, too, since the government issued new rules governing marriage between foreign men and Cambodian women this spring. They include a minimum monthly salary requirement — which Foucher says he might not have met.

New Rules Aimed At Human Trafficking

In the more than three decades since the fall of the Khmer Rouge, Cambodia’s society has seen vast changes. In traditional Cambodian society, arranged marriages were the norm, divorce was taboo and international marriages were rare.

But the recent surge in international marriages hit a speed bump with the new regulations, which the government says are aimed at preventing human trafficking. Now, the rules say, foreign men who want to marry Cambodian women must be under 50 years old and make more than $2,550 a month.

Cambodia’s Foreign Ministry, which issued the rules, explained it as an attempt to prevent sex trafficking and pedophilia, both of which are serious problems in Cambodia and are exacerbated by widespread, grinding poverty.

The English-language Phnom Penh Post quoted Foreign Ministry spokesman Koy Kuong as offering another explanation for the regulation.

“We want people getting married to look like proper couples,” he said, not “like a grandfather and a granddaughter.”

Misguided Strategy?

The phenomenon of older foreign men with younger local women unsettles some Cambodians, including Mu Sochua, a liberal member of parliament, who happens to be married to an American.

“My gut feeling is when I see a difference in age — a very young woman, almost a child, with an older man — in this culture, if he is a foreigner, it’s for sure: She is bought,” Mu says.

That said, Mu opposes the new rule. She believes the best way to help Khmer women is to educate them and empower them to make more informed choices about marriage.

Ou Virak, president of the Cambodian Center for Human Rights, suggests that rather than getting into the business of dictating public morality, the Cambodian government would do better to just enforce existing laws against human trafficking.

“When are we going to police marriage? When are we going to say what couples would look good together?” he asks. “Should the state get into that business? And of course, looking at the past, during the Khmer Rouge when marriages were arranged by the Khmer Rouge, by the state.”

Critics say the new rule simply serves to reinforce women’s traditional powerlessness in choosing a spouse. According to the 2005 Cambodia Demographic and Health Survey, which surveyed nearly 17,000 women across the country, 52 percent of Cambodian women said they did not participate at all in the choice of a husband; 27 percent married a man they had never seen before, or had just met within the past month.

But attitudes among Cambodia’s young are evolving quickly. The wife of bar owner Foucher, Men Soey Leap, says that she doesn’t feel bound by Cambodia’s male-dominated cultural traditions, and when she disagrees with her husband, she lets him know it.

“If my husband wants me to do this, do this, I say, ‘OK, I can do for you,’ ” she says. “But sometimes, no. I think: some good, some not. I can decide.”

Issues Of Enforceability, Unintended Consequences

Foucher doesn’t think much of the rule, and he points out that it will be hard to enforce since couples can just get married overseas, instead of in Cambodia.

“I think it’s kind of stupid because people are going to find a way, if they’re in love, to get married one way or another,” he says.

Ou, the human rights activist, says the rule is inconsistent, because it doesn’t apply to Cambodian men who can marry women of any nationality, age and income range they like.

He adds that the rule could have some absurd consequences.

“What happens if the woman is actually two years younger but the guy is over the 50 age limit?” he asks.

But Phay Siphan, Cambodia’s chief Cabinet spokesman, says critics should not get too exercised about the rule. He says that anyone who doesn’t like it can challenge it in court.

“It doesn’t mean I’m encouraging people to sue my government,” he says. “But Cambodian citizens have a right to go to court to protect their rights, the right to choose anyone as their husband and wife.”

Phay adds that the rule may even be struck down some day as unconstitutional.

8 thoughts on “Older white man seeking love from younger Asian women from Asia

  1. Yeah seeing that picture really bothers me, and the women in Asia should be educated on the foreigner thing. Growing up in the Philippines, (I was born here, lived in the Phils for 7 years and then moved back to America now living for 9 years and going) Colonial mentality and inferiority complex is still prevalent and it is going strong, as when you see the media, almost ninety percent of the “celebs” and “popular singers” are half-white. Looking back when I was younger, my aunt (from my dad’s side)always encouraged me to marry a white guy, she would encourage me to stay out of the sun and to scrub my skin harder with the soap so that my skin will turn whiter. I’m not referring to Filipino Americans…but to the Filipinos in the Philippines. There’s this fascination with white people because of what they see in the media and they think it is marrying “up”, and they are able to dilute their features. My own aunt from my moms side(another aunt) indirectly told me I was ugly, every one of my cousins aunts and uncles favored my sis because she fit the bill and looked like my mom. So during my childhood in the Phils my cousins and uncles would indirectly bash me by favoring a pedestal to my sister. Always comparing and I would always loose. There are so many fucked up examples but one good example is I remember my aunt always pinching my sis cheeks and playing with her hair and saying she was beautiful and she looked “mestiza”, my other aunt (another one from my moms side) asked her “What about her(me)” she replied with a dismissive wave and snorted and said “Nahh no”. Now this is my Mom’s..my own Mom’s sister. My mom’s side is prevalent with the big eyes gene, so most times when extensive family came over which was very often I felt out of place. I have my dad’s small slanty eye and darker skin gene. My mom was hardly there cuz she worked as a guess what you already know a nurse in the states. Me & my sis are only one year apart..I was only about 9 at that time but I remember clearly. Filipinos love anything foreign because they are taught to hate themselves, their eyes to their dark skin I remember I hated looking in the mirror due to my very Filipino features. There’s also a common Filipino saying that goes, “Bahala na kung sarat ang ilong,” which basically says “Never mind or let it be if our noses are flat”, which is a self hating phrase. So when a girl sees a white guy, they will THROW themselves at him due to that and also a hope to escape poverty. White guys, I’m not saying all of them there are some good white guys there and in every race but most white guys know about our complex and they take advantage of that, I wouldn’t be even surprised if they and their business partners go to the Philippines as a treat and to have a good perverted time cuz Filipina pussy is easy because my own people make it to be, but then again I can’t blame my Filipino people it’s not their fault and also there’s the poverty, the media, and the corruption. There’s a damn good reason why everyone in the Phils wants to move out of there. There’s these whitening soaps and creams that is very widely used and popular. It’s taken years for me to deprogram this kind of mentality inflicted on me but I can still see it within my parents. I also see some parts of it left in me, I now love my slanty small eyes, my brown skin, my small nose but there are days I avoid the mirror, (these are features you are programmed to be ashamed about) I even remember during middle school I was bullied to the core…noow were moving to my experiences here in America…I was bullied for being Asian, I was always mistaken for being Chinese, called a fob, the karate chopping noises, called a takeout lady and pretended to order orange chicken kung pao from me, the pulling back their eyes things, my little brothers were almost beaten to death by teens bigger than them because they assumed they knew karate, chink, ching chongy imitations, “GO BACK TO CHINA, YOU EAT CAT AND DOGS!, when I’m talking about boys to other girls I often get the “No offense but Im not into Asian guys and their little dicks”, A fucking 40 year old white guy who was my co-worker kept harassing me out of nowhere in the middle of decent convo saying well get married and shit and that I’m his wife now this was last year I try to laugh it off as I thought he was only joking but he kept persisting and his narcissistic personality started to show through(now I assumed the reason why he kept on doing that was due to a past experience with a Filipina and those Filipina seeking foreigner dating websites or something), chink, gook, you name it almost everyday, in middle school, in the mall people would stare and I remember eating in the cafeteria at the mall this white & black dude just kept laughing at my family for no reason. I started hating myself more for being Asian. I tried to go to my mom about it but she threw the bahala na if our noses are flat and their nose are taller and pointier phrase, which is basically saying were inferior to them just leave it alone. I couldn’t even go to my fuckin family for help. I also isolated myself no friends I now have a corrosive relationship with my parents. I can see the reason why my dad married my mom, it was cuz she had the big eyes and lighter skin, she doesn’t look like the typical Filipino she often gets mistaken for looking hispanic, I inherited my dad’s eyes and I have to admit knowing the difference between Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, I could be Chinese due to my features. I fell to a depression and by sophomore year attempted suicide in the bathroom with the bathtub filled up with water I was so close to killing myself. My sister never went through what I had gone through because she looked hispanic. Things are a lot better now, with Far East Movement, Youtube celebs, and Charice making it ok for Asians, people getting exposed to us and our culture but I feel like things are a bit ok but it’s still the same. Far East Movement still hides behind the glasses, Charice is only known for her voice and no one really cares anymore, Jamie Chung is getting there, yes there are Youtube celebs but unless there will be an Asian American popstar in the status of Britney or Gaga or an Asian American heartthrob like the status of Beiber that is bankable and racebending and whitewashing like what happened to Akira and Last Airbender that’s when I can say things have changed for Asians, but it is progressing slowly in front of our eyes. So I agree that the women in Asia should be educated on the foreigner thing and to be smarter than that because the way their psyche works is not their fault. It’s years and years of programming a mentality passed down by the media and from generation to generation. Now Kpop and Youtube is my therapy, they make me proud to have my features.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story Z, I really feel for you and hope that you can defeat all this social engineering and find happiness.

    This obsession with everything white is all over Asia, I think the reason the colonists left was that they had accomplished their mission, they infected Asia with the disease of the english language, western culture and religion, as well as stealing all the money and wealth and getting all Asian countries to join up to their unfair economic system. It is funny that the only other notable contribution the white man made to Asia was the cockroach!

    That photo at the top does sum it all up, you would never see some old asian guy with a young blond, apart from one or two exceptions. It does seem to be related to poverty as well, as in richer asian countries the age difference is a lot less. All hail the new world order!

  3. @ JK

    The new world order is the old world order. Ever since the 1800s, the West eclipsed the East in terms of world-wide power. And by the late 1800s, China had essentially fallen while Japan was the only Asian nation left standing on “equal” footing with the European/American Empires. But they were only able to do so by almost complete westernization, disbanding of the samurai tradition, adoption of western clothing, weapons, infrastructure/government, etc. etc. Anyways if you look at history, the Asian man already lost a long time ago. We all wear western clothing now and basically everyone speaks English. Most Asian warrior codes of honor, ways of life/fighting, etc. are all of the past and nonexistant in today’s world. Asian women love white men and most women don’t like Asian men….. The world is basically controlled by the USA and it’s military bases spread around the globe for security purposes, etc. I could go on and on and on. But you get the picture. I think a lot of Asians are in denial about the fact that Asia already lost a long time ago.. lol wearing western clothing and still talking about Asian pride is kind of funny sometimes.

    Anyways, this is the way the world is and we have to accept it. But that doesn’t mean the Asian man is going to go to extinction without a fight. We’ll definitely fuck our fair share of white/latina women before we die (or at least I’ll do my best). You can bet on it.

  4. @K Takaki

    Thanks for your reply, it is good to know I am not the only one who thinks that way. You’ll get these people posting on here with their head in the clouds saying how things are great for them and what the big deal is, blaming a lack of confidence and lack of effort on the part of Asian men, but they just don’t see the bigger picture. Much like the rich man telling poor people that money isn’t everything, things are great for them now in their little bubble and they can’t see beyond that.

    I think it is the nature of the defeat that leads to the denial, everything that was Asian culture is now a joke, you have white guys with their black belts, cooking asian food better than the natives, with their deluded asian slapper in tow. Then you have Asians lapping up anything western, speaking the language, wearing the clothes, you even have Asians who are christians! A rich culture which is thousands of years old, that was at the forefront of science and mathematics, while the white man was running around in caves grunting, reduced to nothing more than a circus show, you can’t blame people for burying their heads in the sand!

    I know we’ve lost but we have to go out in style, and nothing makes white men more angry than seeing an Asian with a tall attractive blond! I remember hearing about that Japanese solider who evaded capture in the forest for many years after the second world war ended, quitting is not an option. Just a shame that they used his story as inspiration for Rambo!

  5. @Z

    That’s so wrong and unfortunate what you went through. It saddens me to hear your story. It’s a very common thing for Asian kids to have differences in values with their parents, and hopefully you’ll be the one who can ‘break the cycle’ and live free of all that negative and backwards thinking from the past. You have to undo it yourself though, and it isn’t easy. But, just try your best.

  6. i was wondering what were all the possible ways a man over the age of 50 could get married…including the not so practical ones.

  7. I went to this year’s company Christmas party, and I saw a couple just like in that photo. A young, not bad looking Vietnamese woman with a much older retired Army guy. I spoke with them, and the guy wasn’t a bad guy at all, really. But, he was old and shriveled, and the lady was probably 10 or 15 years younger.

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