Why do Asian girls prefer feminine looking asian men?

Korean Pop Stars

Are these Asian guys wearing lipstick?

See this is one phenomenon that I don’t really understand. Why do asian females prefer feminine-looking asian males. You know, the type that has long hair or hair done up to look like a woman’s, and constantly obsess about their looks. They have a comb and a pocket mirror at hand at all times. Talk about high maintenance! And you thought asian females were bad! Most or almost all of the asian male celebrities have this type of look and I have no idea why it is so preferable. I’d prefer to look less gay/homosexual IMO. Can any Asian females or Asian males who look like this enlighten me on this? (Gofishus)

Japanese group: SMAP

Japanese group: SMAP


19 thoughts on “Why do Asian girls prefer feminine looking asian men?

  1. No offense, but I don’t think this has anything to do with Asian culture. This seems to be a common phenomenon in Europe and North America as well (I can’t speak for other places in the world). Google ‘male models’ and I can bet you most of the results will have long hair and feminine faces. A lot of them have a nice manly 6-pack and set of arms as well, but that probably just adds to the high-maintenance factor. Add that to the recent upsurge of popularity in ‘metrosexual’ guys, aka guys who spend hours getting dressed and ready to go in the morning…and…well, I really have to say this is not an Asian issue.

    That said, while high-maintenance, vain, and looks-obsessed guys are NOT attractive to most people for dating (barring women who want a trophy bf, or women who are as obsessed with themselves as the guy is with himself), they can be nice to look at. :)

    Also, long hair is nice on (a lot of) guys! It doesn’t neccesarily indicate girliness…

  2. My “Theory” is that these women are actually bi-sexual, and that’s the closest to sleeping with another women as they’re comfortable with. I’m not sure if it’s so much a theory, or a fantasy..haha

  3. Wowza. I thought they were both female, but then they did a swap on me!

    Actually, Gofishus has a good point. In Japan, men are starting to wear make-up and other cosmetics. They go to salons, and get their hair styled for super expensive prices. They even wear lipstick some of them, not to mention clothes that have more feminine lines. As a matter of fact, this one Japanese guy fed up with Japanese wrote me an email:

    Romance is about making women think they are better than other women.
    Raising individual charisma is important. That is what many Asian male lacks.
    Let’s say I tell Japanese business man that I am going to take their woman. What do you think is going to happen? It is more likely that they think I am crazy and do nothing. Americans would give me a threat back, trying to punch me out would follow that. Which one would you appreciate if you were their woman?

    He goes on to talk about Western women:
    I do not like women without morals/character because they usually have bad management skill that ruins your home even in Japanese style.I learned about great women when I met a Yugoslavian girl in the States. She was a Karate Champ of her country, straight A pre-med student. She enjoyed kicking ass in anything she tries and spend unbelievable amount of effort in order to do so. She skipped two levels when she was in ESL class and force graduated ESL school in three month (one quarter) by taking. After that she took straight A for all the regular university class while she attended a couple of Karate tounaments where she earned nominations. I did not know any women like that while I was in Japan. I don’t even think they are the same kind.

  4. Nah it’s not that they’re bisexual. Asian girls that you’re referring to like the metrosexual look on asian men because it makes up for everything else they think is lacking in other areas. On the contrary, they prefer white men only when they’re completely disheveled and unkept. go figure… they don’t like homely asian men who remind them of their brothers and they sure don’t like a white guy who collects prada shoes.

    Suffice to say, I think we’re all generalizing the issue. Women have different tastes and so do we.

  5. i think “feminie-looking” is a little strong. girls like guys who are romantic and sensitive to their feelings. and since everyone is pretty much judged by their looks at first sight, men who have softer features get associated with the caring characteristics. it’s like if you see a short asian girl with a soft voice, little braids, and cute clothes you’d associate her with innocence.

    of course, the other reason girls like, or seem to like, those guys is that they just look pretty. all girls like pretty things, whether or not they openly express it. and personally, while i would never go out with one of those high maintenance guys, i wouldn’t mind just having them stand around the house as “vases.” they’re just pleasant to look at.

    i would rule out the these girls are bisexual theory. yes, women do check each other out, but it’s just for evaluating the competition.

  6. An American gal here – I have to say that I do not like men that look like they are sporting my hair style and look. I like how men that are men, strong, handsome, and masculine. Nothing is sexier than feeling safe and protected in the arms of the one you love. Also, knowing the fact that if I slip and fall he could pick me up and carry me to bed. Call me old fashion.

    Turn offs- a man who weights less than me or wants to borrow my butt hugging jeans.

    Maybe others prefer that but I don’t understand that…and that’s just me.

  7. In Asia, that is considered as a masculine hairstyle, inspired from Japanese Anime. Girls seldom don that kind of hairstyle. Anime have also inspired Emo’s fashion to a certain extend here in our western society.

    Here in the west, men are expected to be beastly, hairy and macho looking. Any deviation from the unspoken machismo societal code, and you’d risk ridicule or even physical violence. People are obsessed with other people’s penis size and are insecure of their sexuality that they need to go around labelling things as gay in a disapproving and bullying manner. Many also try hard to build up manly looking moobs by working out too much in the gym so that they can thump their hairy moobs with their thick hairy gorilla arms. There are what is known as overcompensation.

    When you think about it more carefully, the perception of masculinity or femininity is subjective to the cultural perceptions. What that is considered feminine to a certain race might be regarded as masculine or neutral to another.

  8. IMO: There are several factors.
    1. Current technology does not require a large masculine framework to successfully engage or protect during times of war and violence.
    2. The muscular frame of males was created through need, such as physical labor and jobs.
    3. In America, the more muscular and physically imposing white/black were constant bullies towards asians in public areas.
    4. A smaller thin frame indicates a male who relies on intellect.
    5. Masculine male tend to use their physical aggression to meet their goals much more often.
    6. And sex and physical attraction is more important to whites and blacks than with asians. All sex propaganda/ads in the US are based on physical appearance.

  9. Big macho hairy men look too beastly to us. Not attractive at all. Pretty guys means our next generation would be pretty people as well.

  10. Masculine or Feminine is subjective. I will agree that a lot of asian guys deliberately goes for the feminine look, and asian women digs that because they think the guy can be even more beautiful than them. They can only think that way because they are secured with themselves so that they don’t need to “feel feminine” in front of the guy cause they know they’re already feminine subconsciously. On the other hand a lot of western girls prefer rugged out boys because they’re somewhat insecure with themselves and feel inferior in some way to their femininity. Most girls can’t do without makeup, that’s an indication they lack confidence in some way. As for asian guys being masculine, I have seen plenty that can both look masculine and feminine. The thing with asian guys are asian typically looks younger, which is why they still look amazing in their 40’s. A lot of the times they look like boys instead of really grown mens. Thats not saying there aren’t any that look really manly, it’s just that asian guys can look both manly and femininely depending on which look they decide to go with. Most asian guys prefer Asian women, and most asian women prefers that feminine look, which is why most asian guys may appear that way. Theres many reason why most asian guys prefer asian women, because they tend to be more picky about women and generally speaking asian women are more attractive on average vs average basis. Theres not that many great looking caucasian girls so the asian dudes mentally block off that possibility and does what pleases the asian women. Now I’m talking about asian women not particularly the white-washed ones. Anyway I think some asian guys can look really manly. Look at Takeshi Kaneshiro, you’re nuts if you call him feminine. And the whole “jaw” feature thing is overrated. Women that denies a guy for superficial reasons like that end up regretting it later on.

  11. I don’t know. I just don’t like the way they do. I don’t know why those Asians from outside the States act so gay. They dress like gays, their haircut look gay, they act gay. Man I can’t stand that! I can tell the difference between an Asian American and an Asian from Asia merely by looking at them. I have no problem with Asian Americans buy boy those Asians from Asia make me puke!

  12. In our western world, a “real man” should be bit, hairy and macho. Us white guys are naturally hairy and thick, and we tend to have a much bigger masculine jawline. East Asian guys then to be unhairy, and do not facially mature to the same extend as us whites, middle/south-asians and blacks.

    Their jawlines tend to be narrower leading to misaligned teeths, and a more feminine look (according to our western perception of what’s masculine and what’s feminine). That coupled with the shapes of their eyes, less protruding nose, and that their facial bone structures tend not to mature to the same extend as the other races, make many east asians look rather childlike despite of their age.

    North-east asian culture have embraced and extoll femininity features in males since ancient times. Perhaps sexual preference by east asian females towards guys with youthful and feminine features have lead to a different evolution path as compared to us western men, where physical strenght is required to protect the tribe from aggressive neighbours.

  13. I think the beastly, macho, hairy look on a guy is such a major turn-off. It just conveys dominance, a bad personality, and maybe even sexism. This is strictly coming from me and shouldn’t mean a thing to you guys, but I’m not attracted to beastly guys at all.

    Those guys up there are my ideal and what I consider to be hot. It has nothing to do with being bisexual since I’ve always been attracted to guys, just not from the bunch most girls have been taking from. I think, from an evolutionary perspective, that a guy who looks gentle and with a smaller frame looks like a better provider. Sure, a macho guy might do his thing well, but I think a guy like that would be more scary than inviting. A macho male might have more risky proclivities, like getting into bar fights and constantly get traffic tickets because of their higher testosterone levels which breeds impatiance, and, well, unnecessary risk-taking. A macho guy doesn’t look like the type who’d want to cuddle, while a gentler looking guy looks like he’s just asking for it. Plus, smaller body frame=probably going to be intelligent=better job from doing so well in his education. Macho guy=probably going to more inclined to do things like heavy-lifting and athletics…basically a meathead who’d rather watch football than, say, play catch with the kids.

    In terms of sex life, the gentler guy would probably want to do better, more sensual foreplay and satisfy both of us as a result because there’d be mutual give-and-take, while a macho guy would go about it like a gorilla and get it over with, satisfying himself only. Feelings wise, I think a gentle guy would be a better communicator and not be completely adverse to the idea of just talking and acting romantic-y. Plus, I really don’t want to be crushed by a thousand pound Tarzan who’s obsessed with sex and five dollar footlongs.

    I like feminine-looking guys. Give or take, it’s just me. I respect all of your opinions, so no flaming please.

  14. @Cat Great breakdown. Macho guys both look and act a certain way, and oftentimes these guys are playing a role. Meaning, they will hide and suppress feelings and behaviors that go against their macho stance. They won’t show their weaknesses, and they pretend to be tough and always have it together. They are almost like polarized cartoon characters.

    Being able to show some softness, weakness, and even feminine traits is natural and shows a healthy and whole personality.

    Being married and hanging out with other couples, I’ve noticed that those couples that do well are the ones where the guys also give ground. It’s a cooperation, not a competition. I would think a super masculine guy would somehow not be able to handle this.

  15. Pingback: ?What Men Like Cosmo | What Men Want From A Woman

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