Oh, I can’t stand high maintenance girls! Sure, some of them look hot! They wear stylish clothes, nice shoes, sport LV bags, have perfect make up, and have well-styled hair. But, it’s everything else that I don’t need. The constant cell phone chatter: in the car, in the mall, and in front of you on dates. The frequent make-up checks with their pocket mirror. The frequent bathroom breaks, usually with their friends who are also high maintenance. They are so busy with how they look that they rarely give you their attention, so you can’t have a calm conversation with them.
The drama is another thing I can live without. She said this, he said that. “I don’t like her.” “I don’t like him.” “What’s her problem?” “I can’t believe she’s dressed like that!” If a girl says, “She’s a bitch”, in those very words, most likely you have a high maintainence ‘bitch’ on your hands. Now, I’m not being sexist or misogynistic here, because I respect women. But, HM girls are another breed IMO. They have issues with everyone; your friends, your family, YOU, but mainly with themselves. If you side with anyone besides her, you will feel her rage, and you’ll cause yourself even more trouble.
Another turn off for me are the high expectations they have for you. They expect you to pamper them by taking them out to nice restaurants, and special places. Eat at McDonald’s or Jack’n’ the Crack?? Are you kidding?!?! Hell no! (Leave that coupon in your wallet, man! Don’t even go there.) They expect you to wine and dine them, somewhere with a lovely view of the ocean. Of course, YOU are going to get the tab, because HM girls do not pay for themselves since it would be inappropriate to go dutch for a lady! And, they expect you to get them nice things. They drag you to the jewelry store and hint that they want something. They want presents with brand names on them: Coach, Fendi, Gucci, etc… Not Koach, Fundi, or Guchi. They want you to drive a new Beemer, and open the passenger door for them. If you can’t afford these luxuries, chances are you aren’t good enough for them, and they’ll leave you for a lawyer or a doctor. If you don’t make six figures, forget it. Who do they think they are expecting all of this?
Their personalities are just rotten. They act like the world revolves around them. They can be so mean and conceited towards others. I think somewhere deep inside they feel they need a guy to take care of them, but they feel that they have to somehow ‘trick’ a guy into marrying them, by covering up their insecurities with makeup and clothes, or acting more important than they really are. For some reason, even though they are self-centered, they NEED your constant attention, and feel upset if you ignore them for a second. So, when you’re with them, they are making all these crazy demands, not listening to you, and being dramatic. When you ignore them for obvious reasons, then they get all insecure and need you to be there. Psychotic, man. Psychotic!
I just want a nice girl with a good, warm heart who is considerate and understanding. Of course, I want my lady to be attractive. (Being well-dressed and attractive, and being HM is different, mind you.) But, I don’t want them to be obsessed with how they look all the time. A little make up, a nice blouse with jeans. Nothing fancy. More than anything, I want them to be beautiful, and that means on the inside. Somebody who I can have a nice talk with, and a good time…consistently! Somebody who I can laugh with, and not always have to be serious around. Someone who isn’t so obsessed with their own issues that they can listen to me and others. Somebody who is confident enough to poke fun at themselves, and who doesn’t feel the need to look and act perfect.
Beware, SAMs. HM girls aren’t worth the effort. And, there are a lot of Asian HM girls out there! No amount of makeup and acting can cover up their rotten core. And, if you’re an HM girl reading this, go get some therapy. You’ll thank me for it.
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HM girls are very much like that abnormally large shiny apples at the market you will always notice and choose. But what you don’t see behind the scenes is how much unnatural things (chemicals) go into producing it. Or the shiny wax that they put on it outside, but no amount of chemical can stop its insides from getting rotten.
Personality comes first, as nice as a pretty picture is -it gets boring real fast.
One of the things I notice too is if a girl has a sense of style, she can still look hot. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder boys.
That Porshe 911 will always be noticed, but you can get the same reaction out of a well styled Nissan 350Z and it even has leather and cup holders — cup holders!
Its like style, a man in a well-taylored suit is just as good as the man dressed in that Armani suit. Maybe even better cause its well-taylored and suits hes needs.
One thing I forgot don’t always assume that a gorgeous girl is stuck up or HM until you talk to them. Some can actually be very sweet, but you won’t know if you’re too shit scared now will you?
Even not so pretty girls can be HM. In my experience, they take things too personally and they’ll blame you for it!! Freeeedommmm!
blade-edge, you struck a chord in elk. let’s talk about the girl with “a sense of style.” she doesn’t have to wear the ny boutique crap because guys don’t know what that is anyway. coach is to impress other women, not guys.
a woman with a sense of style feels confident even in jeans and a t-shirt. dress-down style can be very effective ladies. the best style? a great personality. personality lasts longer than the $1000 wardrobe.
Well, when i read this really brought back some traumatic memories. I would say that I am a victim of dating a HM girl. Maybe the black widow queen herself. I didn’t know all the warning signs until I was trapped in her web and my life blood was sucked out of me.
Story was she was a smoking hot Korean girl who i had met in K-town (warning flag). Just a brief description of me, I am a SAM Korean adoptee from out of state. Anyways, she had all the things you had mentioned. Gucci, Prada, Coach, Chanel handbags she mentioned she got from “friends”. Nothing wrong with having nice bags to show off. But always talking on the phone even while out to dinner with you and of course paying for everything and then had the gall to tell me after eating at the Cheescake Factory to say “When are you going to take me to a real restaurant?”, along with the constant text messaging, MySpaceing and watching Korean dramas and of course the constant talking about herself with no regards to what you have to say. Making sure to let you know that her time is precious, and of course your time is her time, she will let you know that.
Oh and did i mention i found out that she tried to commit suicide? Well, she ended up cheating on me with another guy who she mentioned had new BMW’s and a to be lawyer. I caught her with her hand in the cookie jar. I had the last laugh. 6 month in hell over.
Yes, SAMS let me bend over while you kick me in the buttocks. I was a real sucker and when you allow beauty to control your actions. It’s really not worth it. Now, I am not labeling all Asian girls as this way. I have met many girls who are cute, nice with great personalities and not to mention a sense of a humour. I am just stating that the Devil wears Prada girls are out there! So watch your ass.
Amen!
And yet, men never seem to learn. Easily distracted by the *sparkly!* On goes the choke chain, and they’re never heard from again. Until she dumps them for someone richer.
RiceWine76, in my humble opinion, CHEESCAKE FACTORY is four star cuisine! What a wench! … OK, maybe 3.5…
Bravo!! Reflective
Thanks san015. Ricewine76, isn’t it funny that she tried to commit suicide, but she survived? They always live to tell you about it… Drama queens!
Must be from all the Korean Dramas?
Ricewine76 all guys have at one point dated a HM girl or gold digger, just learn from your mistakes and catch it early. Thats why experience counts in life.
I don’t know but I like relatively high maintenance girls. I mean, not too high but enough where she takes care of herself and looks nice. Man, I don’t want the girl to have a goatee or anything, or have more hair on her legs than me, or have a piece of broccoli in her teeth. I want her to be sexy and pretty. There’s nothing wrong with that. Now a gold digger? That’s a whole nother ball game. I’ve never been with a gold digger so I wouldn’t know, but maybe it’s because I don’t have any gold. Alls I got is a bunch of monopoly money. Sure I own a couple of houses and hotels…on St. James Place.
Why is it that the pretty girls have bad personality and HM?? And, why are the very nice, average looking girls have low confidence? Low confidence is not attractive, no? I would not mind dating average looking girl if she has confidence.
Most asian guys are dull and ugly, if you want a girl who’s attractive and nice and funny, what do you have to give back? Obviously you fools got into the mess because you thought you got lucky when a hot girl wanted your ass. Even getting a ho off the streets is gonna cost you money. Why shouldn’t your prada girlfriend get some money out of having to put out for your fugly face?
Wow. babaporkie has a venemous tongue! She must be HM if she’s that upset…
I wonder if HM people dress up for themselves, or simply to impress others. I know for me, it’s a little of both. I like fashion, and I like cool clothing. But, I also am aware how that others are looking at me.
I think both male and female these days don’t dress down when going out cause you never know who you’ll bump into. Like I mean if you’re wearing jogging gear, its nice looking gear without holes of stains.
Its true what some have posted, you can’t have high expectations if you don’t at least meet them.
Thats why I never dismiss the shy girl, I’ve met some and with a few tips they start looking top grade. Its like if you have an eye for fashion you notice both males and females, you obviously know what you’d like your girl wearing.
So if this shy girl has good features – not just breasts, actual features like good bone structure in the face she can be transformed. A trip to the make-up section of a department store perhaps if she has issues with make-up, theres many helpers there – all you do is tell them and stand back.
And when she does start turning from the ugly duckling into the swan, who do you think she’ll be thanking. And she has developed the HM personality, and hopefully won’t — but who cares shes yours?
Hello Everyone,
I agree with blade-edge. First you should always look your best. I always try to look my best, rocking my own little style but I don’t believe us girls should be label whores. I knew some girls who would rather not eat so they can afford the newest Gucci.
Now, this this makes it difficult for the rest of girls trying to date being that most guys are gun shy from their previous HM relationship.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not perfect. I have my HM moments. There is nothing more attractive in a man who has shiny, sleek new Playstation or Xbox 360. I’m theirs!
I will give up a meal to get the newest fighting game.
If I may be so bold Dragolicious, mind answering three questions for me just for my own curiosity and I’ll let you and the rest know why I asked them after you answer.
Are you an Asian female, and how would you rate your upbringing low, middle, high class based on your family wealth. I hope its not too personal a question, but there is a method to my madness and online you have anonymity.
And when you were younger were you much of a tomboy or a young girl who enjoyed playing tea parties and so forth?
I think I know where you are going with this blade-edge. So here are my answers. First I’m black, middle income family and I did both the tea party stuffed animal soiree but only afte kung-fu theater on Saturdays.
Well, here is what I was thinking that a girl from a low or middle income family tend to look after themselves and value the material things they buy more. And when I say that, I don’t mean their materialistic but they will put forth the effort of looking good.
Yes, I might be generalizing, but its just a theory. I grew up in a middle income family, and I tend to value the quality of many things more closely. Like I would value a good pair of leather shoes (Italian) or the craftsmanship of something.
Also the tomboy thing was to see which side you tend shift towards, and from your answer you’re 50/50. Meaning you show an inclination in both female and male interests, so you can hang with the boys but you can also girly up too.
I was just trying to make a point of mine, from my experience that Asian girls are more fun if they were tomboyish when they were younger. Cause I’ve dated a couple of girls that look HM but are just well kept, but have fun personalities.
So just for curiosity are you into Asian guys, or what have your experiences been with them from your pov?
I’ve dated Asian guys both in Asia and the US and the majority of my experiences have been good ones.
I don’t exclusively date Asian men or any race for that matter simply whoever I make a conecction with or whomever I find attractive. Usually, however, I see more attractive Asian men than anyother race especially, since I moved to Los Angeles.
So far, it seems that LA is the hub for really cute Asian dudes. I don’t what kind of experiences wait for me out here but I’m curious.
Please keep us informed! We’d love to know. I’m guessing you’ll meet some cool guys, but also a lot of superficial SAMs, considering it’s LA.
Dragolicious, I’m sure lots of SAMs would be interested. Go for it!
I have dated all types,white,black,arabic,and I find asian men to be the most sensual.Living in S.F.where there is such a large concentration of asian men,to me they also seem to be the most polite and I never have asian men ogle me or stare at me in an uncomfortable manner,like a lot of other ethnicities do.There is definitely something about them that is intriguing.The best sex I ever had was a vietnamese guy in Portland.I must say that I have a weakness for chinese,korean and vietnamese men.I also love the contrast of the asian male,white female couple…very xotic,indeed!!!
*lilywhitegoddess*
Lilywhitegoddess, welcome to the SAM community! It’s great to hear another woman who can see the positives in Asian guys. It takes a trained eye to distinguish a real gem. Yeah, most SAMs are well-mannered to a fault, but when it’s balanced by confidence, then it’s hard to beat. I do think SAMs are mysterious…there’s a lot going in our minds.