This topic has come up a few times before, but I was thinking about this the other night after AM empowerment mentioned this phenomenon. He mentioned there are lots of Asian American girls who actually refuse to date Asian American guys. I’ve heard the hypothesis that they are just trying to marry ‘UP’, and attain approval in the US by marrying into a white or non-Asian family. But, I don’t think this is the case, because these girls he mentioned actually HATE Asian guys, and REFUSE to date them. It just doesn’t make any sense to abandon your race just to get ahead. You can marry non-Asian, but still have a good relationship with your Asian American family and friends, you know? So, what gives?
I don’t think that it has to do with being ridiculed by non-Asians growing up, either. Because, if anything, that would make you closer to your family. They would provide the support and comfort at home while you’re battling the outside world. And, most Asians who are ridiculed react by standing up for their heritage. You usually resent the source of the pain, and that would be the racists saying all these things. So, I rule this out as a logical reason.
I’m no expert, and I’m hypothesizing, so I may be completely wrong. But I think that these girls who hate Asian guys must’ve had major issues at home. I am guessing that their fathers were abusive, violent, or unfaithful men. These girls were either abused directly, or their mothers were abused physically or emotionally. They grew up hating their dads, and avoided anyone who reminded them of him as a result. In other words, us. They associated all that pain and abuse with Asian men, and to a certain extent, Asian culture. So, they start acting more white so they can get with non-Asian men, and eventually marry out. Maybe these are the girls spreading rumors that Asian men are abusive. I don’t doubt that it’s true though. Being raised in traditional chauvinistic Asian societies, I bet a lot of men take liberties and beat their wives when they get frustrated.
The reason I thought about this is because I know a guy who was abused by his mom as a kid. Now, he’s a guy, but he still really resents his mom, and he has an odd identity crisis where he isn’t proud of his Korean heritage. He likes it when people think he’s Japanese, which is odd, don’t you think? I’ve heard him diss Korean culture, and he picked up Japanese even though he can’t speak Korean well. He’s gets depressed and lonely, and he doesn’t get along with native Koreans that well. He hasn’t completely rejected his culture, but he seems to get along with non-Korean girls better. He rarely talks to his family, and IMO, he has lots of hangups. It all makes sense to me. Reading on therapy and psychology, almost everyone’s hangups come from upbringing, and how they react to it with their personality.
So, I think these girls are victims more than they are haters, and they need some help to figure out their issues. If you ask them, they probably won’t mention they were abused, but will give you all these lame reasons why they hate Asian men: short, small penis, not sexy, etc… The real reason is probably that we remind them too much of their dads. I think it requires a truly traumatic experience to hate your own. Again, this is just a hypothesis, and I’m not a psychologist.
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@Observer
Though I don’t agree with the strong language used by Vincent, I do believe you are deluded in regards to how you view asians. There is no desire to be either accepted or loved by white people, you got your land through genocide, you made your wealth through raping and pillaging other countries, your contribution to the cultural, scientific and spiritual advancements in the world are a mere spec of dust compared to asians who invented these concepts that you plagiarised.
You are nothing but empty soulless shells lacking in any consciousness, falling into the abyss created by your own greed, we can speak your language better than you, do your jobs better than you, the only truly pathetic thing is your laughable attempts to make asian men look weak, comical and gay. As Jung said, you project your insecurities onto others.
@JK
You know no matter how you try to justify the issues low self esteem and desperate need of acceptance into white society it is clearly obvious that there is a problem with your people. Is it that Asian men are upset that Black and Latino men are seen as more attractive sexually and physically than Asian men? White women have always had a desire for these men and black men since colonial times. There was the taboo of race mixing after a certain point in American history due to economic reasons while many Asians where culturally and racially isolated. Prior to the early 1800′s Many African americans, Whites and Native Americans were intermingling. Many African Americans often have white or Native ancestry. I just found out that Mohammed Ali was inducted in the Fighting Irishmen Hall of fame. Lol. He was warmly accepted in Ireland where his “White” ancestor hailed from and even had a street names after him. Check their DNA. Many can trace ancestry back to Europe. There where many Irish women on Plantations as indentured servants that where the ancestors of many families of color here in the US. Yes our people Stole Native land, Enslaved Africans and bore children with women of color. That was the past. White men have always had access to women of color so perhaps black men felt that as retribution many take white women to “pay back us white males” for our exploitations. That is understandable. One of the most beautiful white women in the world is married to a Black man Heidi Klum and Seal. That is fine. Love is love and it is what is.
White men like Asian women not because they are beautiful, no there are many beautiful women Latin, black and others that would far surpass Asian women in beauty and other areas. Not to offend anyone. Beauty is not specific to Asian women. White men like women of a more subservient nature. While many white women are liberated, outspoken and present much of a challenge, we like to feel we are in charge and about status and power. An Asian woman or man for that part can feed into that since of arrogance that us white males have come to represent in this society. Who not better to help us out with this? You are doing a great job here of proving that.
I have worked with Asian men and they will flip over backward for our acceptance and to be part of our social circles. Why not just be yourself and like people for who they are no matter what color or race? When an Asian man is lucky enough to catch a white woman he usually have to bend over backwards, have the financial means to give here a superior lifestyle or acts like her servant. So ask yourself this are you really marrying for love or to try to improve yourself image or status?
Yes there are some Asian women that may have the same agenda. Why not love yourself and someone not for their color or status but for who they really are. You are looking at the world through tainted glasses. There are good people in all groups. Seeing Asian women and men wasted so much of their talent and time on us “Whites” is just sad.
@JK
Not my fault that Asian me are portrayed as gay or comical. Also that your women are abandoning you and choose us over you. If they choose to accept the roles then not my fault. They are your people they should aspire for something higher. As for speaking my language better than I…….that’s great. Hey when you are in Rome do as the Romans do. You should. No sweat off my brow. How would you look walking around in America sounding like you just got off a boat and you have been her e most of your life. You must not be doing something right that your own women don’t like you and are not attracted to you and are abandoning you guys in droves. So now you are trying to play catch up by trying to date white girls or white women. White women are very open minded and will date anyone to be honest even though they still prefer their own men unlike your Asian women. Lol
Go on little left out subservient Asian man continue with your little thread here obsessing with white men and white women and hating on other people of color like yourself. Be a real man and figure out how to keep your women from coming to us for their needs and comfort. I hear you guys are not good in bed either. What a shame so many strikes against you.
@ Observer
Bro (actually not my bro you smug little faggot), it might not be your fault directly but it is your fault indirectly because most white people buy into hollywood/feed them money and only the rare few make objections when casting of movies is clearly anti-East-Asian-male (such as in Avatar the Last Airbender, etc.). A lack of positive 3-dimensional Asian Male actors in hollywood, which deeply affects the thought process of most American females, is largely the cause of why Asian American men have so many dating issues in the USA. On the flip side, a lack of positive 3-dimensional Asian Male actors/role-models means that most Asian American dudes go through life dealing with identity issues, masculinity issues, etc.
Think about how they made a laughing stock out of william hung and on that 2 Broke Girls show, they have another effeminate, pudgy-ass weakling Asian American guy to make fun of. Why not get a manly, muscular, intelligent, mutli-talented actor like Will Yun Lee on that show fucking the brains out of both white chicks and possibly a foursome with their other hot girlfriend?
Because that would destroy the status quo in terms of IMAGE, which is what most white men, white women, and other non-Asian peoples of color are more comfortable with: the Asian man being effeminate/gay and nerdy or being simply a foreigner who is a kung fu master, asexual, and speaks no English. It’s what you people are used to seeing. It’s what you people want. Why? Because we are “competition” and you want to eliminate your competition. Nevermind that you get treated as royalty in Asia and get to have your dick sucked by many Asian females willingly. Nevermind that even most Asian Americans are very open-minded, very friendly, and usually very nice to you. Faggots like you return all the love we give you people with hate. Maybe we should start giving back some of the hate to you. I think it’s high time that Asian cinema portrays the white man as the enemy all the time and finds markets for their films in less white-people-loving places. Oh I forgot. Most other places don’t have that kind of buying power because the European and American Empires already completely destroyed their infrastructure/economy/culture long ago (or are currently doing so, such as in the middle east). That’s a bitch ain’t it.
The status quo is also what the white/jewish man, who controls Hollywood, wants. BTW some of the biggest most racist faggots with yellow fever I have ever met are white/jewish (old money) who have no respect for Asian women or their culture but like to have their way with them because they see Asian women as submissive, which is exactly what you just described about why YOU like Asian women.
You little faggot, YOU DON’T VIEW WOMEN AS EQUALS, and are probably not man enough to handle a woman who views herself as your equal, which is why you need to go to some third world country or date some FOB Asian chick or get the local Asian American female slut desperate for attention. Well you know what? Go ahead because it proves how much of a pussy you are. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. Most Asians, especially FOB Asian families and SE Asians/Chinese are matriarchal. That’s right. The popular propaganda is pure bullshit. Most of the Cantonese families I have ever met and many Southern Chinese families have a “tiger mom” who bosses around her husband and her husband is basically her workmule. Look at most Asian TV shows, they cater to the female audience. It’s obvious that Asian females have more power back in Asia (even in China there is a higher percentage of positions of power occupied by females, past rulers have been EMPRESSES, has there ever been a female US president? nope) So be prepared for that nasty little surprise. Only in Japan or Korea is it patriarchal and most Korean families want their daughters/sons to marry only other Koreans, so I guess you’ll have to try your luck with Japanese chicks but then they are kind of hard to find in the USA. As much as I like white people in general because I grew up in 90% white areas and was born an’ raised in ‘merica, I hate smug-ass motherfuckers like you who like to stand their and laugh at Asian dudes. If I ever met you in real life I would beat the fuck out of you if you dared utter a word of how “Asian men are weak, etc.” and I guarantee you that I would knock you to the ground within a minute of our little duel.
@ Observer
BTW just because some of us happen to like certain white chicks doesn’t mean that we only like them because they are white. There are plenty of white women that make me gag. And I’m not too fond of blondes either. Especially racist-ass, ignorant blondes. Latinas, Armenians, middle-eastern/white mixed, and Eastern European “white” chicks are the kind of girls I like. I don’t really like WASP girls who have the same kind of racist mindset as you. And don’t get me started on overweight girls who don’t know the first thing about fitness and nutrition.
Also, only an idiot would date someone solely based on their race (like you said how you like to date Asian women because they are supposedly subservient). When I look at a chick, looks are definitely extremely important, but I definitely consider other qualities/lifestyle, etc. I take care of my body and have many talents. I expect them to also take care of their body and to be good a something other than looking good and to have more depth than what the typical uneducated party-girl has. I don’t really care what race they are as long as they have the “look” that I like.
@Observer
If we are trying to get accepted into white society, then explain to me why the national dish of the UK is curry? Explain why every TV advert, every marketing campaign, news show has a bloody asian women on it? Why white women flock to do yoga, why every western business believes in feng shui, the list goes on and on! Your culture is too weak to stand on its own two feet, so you have to steal and consume other peoples! The English language itself is a combination of French, German, Latin, Sanskrit, Indian, everything you have is begged, borrowed and stolen!
Black and Latino men are just seen as less of a threat so they are promoted positively, it is that simple. And white women had a strong desire for Indian men during the British Raj, but the white bastards didn’t like it so they spread wild rumours. The same can be said of America, remember the ‘yellow peril’? Nasty rumours spread about Asian men to make them look bad, and nothing has changed to this day! You do pick up inadvertently on how the majority of prominent black people have some white genes, funny that. Also how Ali racially abused Frazier is a disgrace, could a white guy get away with calling him a gorilla?
White men like Asian women because they are exotic, the looks do play a part, I’ve spoken to many white guys and they like nothing better than a fully westernised asian women who wears western clothes and speaks fluent english! It is nothing more than a fetish, and you show your naivety in trying to brand asian women as more subservient! How many have you meet? In the asian city I work in, the women rule, they are the boss, you have seen way too many of those shit Vietnam movies that have given you this warped idea of asian women!
But all of this is consistent with the rest of your views, you’ve played your hand and showed yourself for who you are, your one of those liberal minded people who displays this facade of togetherness and one rainbow nation, but inside you look down on other races and you think you know where their rightful place is. And your constant attacks on asian men are an indication of your failure to accept that you could not have any success with asian women without the help of your warped media, and that you lack the ability to satisfy women as you have no respect for them, I doubt you’ve had any relationship last for more than a few months!
The only glasses I am looking at the world through are the ones from ‘They Live’, and there are nice white people in the world, just a shame you’re not one of them. Change your name from Observer to Obnoxious, as you seem to fit the latter more than the former. I’ll leave you with a comment a friend of mine made on white women in the UK. He was speaking to some white people in a bar, and they were commenting on how the UK has so many problems with immigration. He responded with ‘your boarders are like your women, open!’.
@K Takaki Great comments as usual.
@ Observer
And dating white chicks for status? I highly doubt most Asian guys are pathetic enough to use their significant other as a status symbol. Significant others are for loving and fucking tenderly and for companionship. Nobody in their right minds uses their husband/wife as some kind of trophy. It’s just like how some of my white buddies talk about banging one girl every week. But is the girl always hot I ask? They say “nah not really, but it’s pussy.” “Hey bro so what does she like to do, what are her hobbies, etc.” My buddy, “Uh I don’t remember I don’t even think I asked, I just did some of the small talk to get her naked.” That’s some warped thinking and shows how a lot of white guys view women as nothing but a pretty face, nice tits, ass, and a hole to stick their dick in. And Asian women are just an exotic “subservient” version of that.
To me that kind of mindset is disgusting. You don’t see the girl as a person to get to know and then possibly fuck but only as a sextoy. And it’s funny how white guys think Asian guys are extremely sexist and that Asian society is extremely patriarchal when it is the complete opposite in most cases (Japan is a bit of an exception).
@ JK and K Takaki
Good comments, guys. I am glad you guys spoke up, though I wouldn’t worry about what Observer thinks. We’ll never change his mindset, and he’ll go on living his life as a closet racist since he would never admit to these thoughts with people around him.
I like how you guys pointed out the influence that Asian culture has had in Western culture. When people diss Asians and their culture, they overlook all the positives, but they are there and we can take pride in it. Nowadays, the world is so connected that there is no way that Asian culture cannot positively influence the West. For example, did you know that the first quartz watch was in fact Japanese? And, that technology is still used in things like iPhones and computers to keep accurate time.
I feel nowadays that the key to Asian pride is just knowing in your hearts about all the contributions our cultures have had on society. It’s not a competition, and it’s not about who contributed MORE because that’s too hard to measure. The fact is, all cultures contribute. Just quietly understanding this is enough to feel confident and at peace. We can never change the minds of those who choose hate. Even when we stand up for ourselves they won’t change. And, they love to get us angry with their hateful words, especially online where their cowardly faces are hidden. So, just ignore them.
> But I think that these girls who hate Asian guys must’ve had major issues at home. I am guessing
> that their fathers were abusive, violent, or unfaithful men. These girls were either abused directly,
> or their mothers were abused physically or emotionally. They grew up hating their dads, and
> avoided anyone who reminded them of him as a result. In other words, us. They associated all that
> pain and abuse with Asian men, and to a certain extent, Asian culture. So, they start acting more
> white so they can get with non-Asian men, and eventually marry out.
These are valid possibilities. However, there have to be more going on than just these reasons. Such dysfunction and abuse are not exclusive to Asian families, but is rather rampant is many, if not most, other cultures. YET the girls from other cultures DON’T to fleeing to another race when they experience these problems. Abused white girls don’t flee to another race, abused hispanic girls don’t try to escape their race in the face of abuse. You still see Asian girls fawning all over non-asian men even when they are not abused. No, there is much more to this phenomena.
Personally, I believe that it has much to do with deep psychological defects formed by the conflicts of being Asian growing up in American culture. Girls from not other race show this strange behavior.
>>>>>>YET the girls from other cultures DON’T to fleeing to another race when they experience these problems.
Yes, this is true but I guess it depend on the person. My father sometime is abusive and violent. As Asian girl I didn’t associated all that pain and abuse with Asian men instead I associated that guys can’t be trusted and I have be careful. I know the fact anyone be abusive, violent, unfaithful, and so on. If I did associated the pain and abuse with Asian men, I would probably hate them or don’t want to date them.
As Asian American girl born in America, I do feel I need to fit in white society.
I’m just going to write a few what I have experience growing up in America.
- in order to survive in America – I need to get white boyfriend or marry one.
- in order to survive in America – I need to make a lot of white friends.
- in order to survive in America – I have act white as much as possible. If you act like fob/asian, people will think you’re weird….
- I want half Asian baby so they can have white feature (tall nose, big eyes, pale skin, height) and I do not want my future children don’t have suffer what I experience.
- I wish I was white.
- Try to be opposite of stereotype Asian
- I hate being Asian in America, people will look down on you and bully you just because your Asian.
- Desire to be accepted by white people especially white guys.
- Since I didn’t have typically Asian look (slant eyes, flat nose) people didn’t make fun of my appearance but they did bully me just because “I’m Asian”.
- Since all the bully have been white guy – I used to have mentality that I hate white guy lol.
@ so Asian
If anybody thinks like that , she needs to go to a mental hospital.White washed , colonial minded thinking that is.
@Rohan
>>>>>>>>If anybody thinks like that , she needs to go to a mental hospital.White washed , colonial minded thinking that is.
You can have that type of thinking without being whitewashed, you know. I don’t blame you for thinking like this, I would probably think so too haha.
I’m not that White washed. For your information, I still prefer Asian guy than other races and I haven’t date any white guys in my life. I don’t know why, but I love Asian guy. Is that a good thing?
I was just writing about my conflicts of being Asian girl growing up in American culture, noting more. Everyone experience is different. I’m pretty sure both Asian girl and Asian guy have experience this. They probably don’t have the guts to say in out, probably scared and ashamed lol. I’m for one, not ashamed anymore, but I used too and I didn’t want to come out! Even though I experience things that typical whitewashed or insecure Asian girl would. I DID NOT GIVE IN THOSE BELIEF and ACT OUT, unlike others they gave in and feel peer pleasure and act out! well I did not, why? I’m not that type a person, I hate being FAKE and I don’t like degraded myself (self-respect much, oh yes!) . I did try to fit in but it did not feel good, I was in fact more angry and depressed. It feel like I want killed someone.
Your probably wondering why I didn’t turn out like one of those super ass white wash Asian girl if I have that kind of mind thinking. Its because those beliefs and feelings haven’t ingrain me as much as others. As in they don’t have power to influence me in order for me act out those feelings or whatever I experience in the moment but the feeling. desire, and beliefs in my mind is still there. It take a lot of time deprogrammed to not have that sort of thinking.
Like I just before, everyone experience is different lead to different outcome.
Mine was different.
America = freedom, democracy, justice and chance
America ? Asian culture
If they dont wanna see gay/ lesbian people, they should go back to their original country.
The interesting thing about the Internet is that you can pretend to be anyone. I wonder how many of these people are White men posing as Asians.
Asian men remind me of blood bruises knives and all those disgusting pathetic things because yes I am a reason why this piece was written but I don’t like white culture or white men. I like terrorists.
@SoAsian
I simply wanted to mirror what you have said because I found your expressions interesting.
As a SAM not born in America, I don’t feel the need to fit in white society.
I’m just going to write a few things that I have experienced as someone who has not grown up in America.
- I don’t need to survive in America – I don’t need to get white girlfriend or marry one.
- I don’t need to survive in America – I don’t need to make a single white friend.
- I don’t need to survive in America – I act as a white as least as possible. I am an eternal fob, no one thinks I am weird… the opposite would have been weird…
- I don’t want and don’t need half or quarter Asian baby so they could have white features and I do not want future coward children who will fear suffering or white people.
- Thank God, I am not white, never wished to be one.
- I carry all Asian stereotypes and wish to have more of them.
- I am Asian outside of America, people respect me just because I am Asian.
- Don’t need any shoddy white approval, not even from white ladies.
- I have typical Asian look, slant eyes and flat nose, people do make fun of my appearance but they don’t bully me afterwards because “I am an Asian”.
- Since all the bullies have been white guys – I used to have the mentality that I have sympathy for them.
I don’t know what your point mirroring in opposite way… What are you trying to point out?
@SoAsian
I am sorry I don’t have enough time to write more on this forum that I appreciate a lot.
I mirror everything you said because I wanted to point out that what you said, how you think, how you behave is “wrong”. I wrote the opposite to highlight it.
But it was/is not completely your fault since everything is part of a scheme already established before you were even born.
You behaved in such ways, but how could it be otherwise. Did you even have a choice to behave otherwise?
I am saying this because your case is not unique. I already mentioned such scheme already in place to control and maintain people’s behavior and outcome. To go beyond such pattern of behavior is another challenge that Asian people will have to face, beside their academic and economic achievements.
I apologize if my words may seem rude.
@ReflectiveSAM
Pretty interesting insights, and as WF who was sexually abused by my mom’s ex-husband (stepdad) who was white, I can’t say I concur totally, but it holds some truth in myself. For a few years after the incident, I avoided white guys like a plague. 8th grade (I was abused the day before school started) was spent in social isolation and the only people I gave the time of day were my black friends (private school, so not many…) and the few female friends that I had. WM’s were avoided and hated for awhile, because all I saw was that bastard’s face on theirs. That was also the year I started really getting into J-Rock and Final Fantasy and I clung to my newfound love of Asian guys. Yeah, I knew the rumors, but they just felt so safe. It was a relief. Finally, guys I won’t ever have to worry about. They were gentle, and non-threatening (this is my early teenaged mind, btw). I can easily say that I became a closet, self-racist girl against guys of my own race because of what happened. My first crush was an ABC who I became infatuated with at first sight. His face, perfect to me, was the biggest draw. He was pretty skinny and maybe your typical nerdy SAM, but I was hooked on him and developed a crush. For half a year he was my hugest crush, until he rejected my affections mid-year, saying that he was flattered and whatnot but a rejection is still a rejection. After I finished the 9th grade, time skip the summer reading assignment prior to the 11th grade (grade I’m in now) which was Malcolm X. Reading hundreds of pages of blatant racism against white people (that which was justified and wasn’t) once more and lapping every drop up (practically ignoring the amazing and universal revelation he came to), I spiraled deeper and deeper downwards into self-hatred. I can easily say that until the literal turn into 2012, I was a self-racist.
Now, I know much better. Although my lingering bias for attractive Asian males is still there, it’s inescapable. Nowadays, I find that I am reclaiming my attraction for handsome white males of my race, which has come as sweet relief and perhaps a few years too late. Honestly, I’m learning to go with my deeper attractions for men of all races and am overcoming my self-hatred, but I’ve definitely learned a lot about myself along the way.
Reflective SAM, from my experience alone, you’re right even to this non-Asian girl. However, I think that at the end of the day, even those abused A-girls deserve a little slack if there is trauma. For me, it took awhile to get over, but even then that isn’t enough to explain why some girls go overboard in their racial preferences.
I honestly think that it lies with every A-girl and what she likes. If she’s been born and raised in a society that covets handsome white males, and she’s been ingrained with that reality all her life, then no one has the right to call her racist if that’s all she ever knew. I for one can relate since I’ve been inundated with Asian culture for as long as I can remember, so my bias for A-boys started with me thinking that they’re the best at a time when boys started to look appealing to me. Classmates accused me of being a self-hating racist, when in all honesty, these handsome Asians were the Brad Pitts and Tom Cruises to me. It seemed natural since it was most of what I knew as to what attractive men were like. So, can you really blame an A-girl unaware of the fact that she’s pretty ignorant not to see attractive guys within her own race? I say, don’t treat her with scorn unless she’s nasty and outwardly racist towards you.
I the meantime, we’ll have to hope and pray that Asian men will someday be elevated to a pedestal the way Latino and BM’s have been. It sucks that Asian girls can’t see the beauty in their own men, but maybe someday they really will.
Reflective SAM, good post but there needs to be more. There are things lacking in your post. To simply resign that these women who despise dating their own race must have had some trauma that has adversly affected their attraction to Asian men, seems to be a little far fetched.
Here is how I see it, if someone does not know they are suffering, unless they see/go outside of their bubble they will think their NORMAL is normal for everyone else.
I think your arguement has merit but I also think there is a bigger reason why many Asian women seem to desire white men or have a ‘any white man will do’ mentality.
I think it is more cultural than anything else. Colonization and imperialism not only effected Africans but all continents. Euroethnocentrism seems to have taken deep root in a lot of Asian societies. From an outsiders perspective, it seems that white males are highly valued in the Asian community.
It’s like Asians view the heirachy of value as: white male on top, then Asian male, then the black male.
Somehow, if one gets into the white community one way or the other, they will be highly valued or superior. It seems in a lot (not all) Asian societies being amongst whites ot marrying or being half white some how makes you better than other Asians.
The question is, why in today’s society, with so much access to knowledge and education this mentality still exists in the Asian communities and other communities as well? Why is ‘lighter brighter’ why in countries like South Korea, the plastic surgery rates are insanely high? Those surgeries and bleeching creames make one look not white but maybe half white. Just closer to being white. Eye lid and nose surgeries
Why is there is great pull toawrds being in white society or being accepted by them? Truely it is a losing battle. In white society, everything is cool just as long as you don’t try to get out of your racial steriotypical boxe. Keep up the image of being super smart, but you better not have an American accent, be good at sports, or a good looking face. Same thing with Black men, you can have a huge penis and be great at BBall but you better not be smart or successful in business. As long as you work under whites, all is fine.
It is sad that somehow evolved human beings don’t see what really is going on. Anything to keep monorites under whites. Not to say all whites want to be superior but the majority of them feel superior to minorities and can’t stand it when you dance circles around them.
But the big kicker is that now things have changed. Whites are not only discrinminating against and duping minorities (with he help of the Jews), but other whites (poor, redneck, uneducated) as well. Whites and jews have made their deals adn have corrupted our nation even more so.
It’s a sad day when a white man realizes that not all whites are equal. ‘Oh you thought you had a free pass becasue you were white?” Not anymore, white savage capitalism is ruthless and leaves few survivors. Now whites are going bankrupt, hopped on drugs (street and pharmaceuticals), and on a downward spiral, leaving them blaming everyone for their problems but themselves.
The evil that emits from their society is now consuming their community. Now they as well as minorites are sucked into debt, ill health, and mental illnes….I digress.
I blame this on Euroethnocentrism, power, wealth, status, and greed.
Childhood abuse? Maybe, but I’m not sure.
Internalized racism would be a better explanation.
This “self-hatred”, as you describe it, is much more likely to occur in societies where Asians are a minority such as in America, Australia or Britain. Let’s not kid ourselves: as welcoming as these societies might be, a tinge of racism remains. It may not be as overt as it once were, but it still nonetheless permeates the popular culture of these societies. Just look at the way Asians are portrayed in the movies and on television: they are usually short, unathletic, nerdy, geeky, skinny, goofy, unattractive and just not “cool”.
When women, Asian or otherwise, see these stereotypes repeated over and over again, they start to believe them. Once these beliefs become internalized, they are generally so deeply ingrained that they become part of the woman’s identity and core values. At this point, reversal becomes nearly impossible.
omg this is one of the best article I’ve read in a long time.
Your hypothesis couldn’t be more right. It is the case with me and friends I know that resent Asian guys. Thank you for acknowledging that. But unlike you most Asian guys do not acknowledge the existence of abusive, douchebag culture in Asia, if anything, they embrace the culture that gives them entitlements, and that’s why they turn a blind eye on the issue of abuse and choose to get defensive and stay in denial. We don’t hate all Asians, we just hate those who refuse to snap out of the douchebag culture.
Also, Asian guys should stop pretending domestic abuse is not an Asian-specific thing. It is!! Of course there exist domestic abuse in white societies but it cannot compare to the extent of abuse in Asian cultures – AND do notice that abuse is NOT accepted in the white culture, but it is WELL accepted in the Asian culture!
If you deny this you’re either ridiculously ignorant or a total douchebag!
How many white girls get beaten to death by their father? How many white wives get beaten to death by their husband? Guess what, it happens A LOT more in China! In the US, the police would actually step in when you’re a desperate victim of abuse! In China the police won’t do a shit! Why do you not see as much white girls flee from race due to childhood trauma? because there are MUCH less incidence of such childhood experience!
My father was an cheater and an abuser. And he did not beat me for good grades, he beat me because he was bitter after his divorce with my mother.
I was 14 when I called 911 on my very abusive father, it was in a moment of desperation, and what I get from the white society (high school principle & councilors) were genuine concerns about my well being, and what I get from the Asian society was LOTS of hurtful comments and pretty much everyone was on my father’s side.
So yes at some point we do turn against that society, and tell them fuck you you can all go to hell, you don’t like me and I don’t like you!
Don’t blame all Asian men for what a few did. I’m sure their as many white, blk or latino men who’s into violance aginst woman as well. It’s how that person is race not what race he is that make him do what he does.
Cher is the typical Asian hag looking for a way out. I know more Asian men who were constantly being verbally and sometimes physically abused by their heinous Asian wives.
And this supposed “Wofgang Arnold” is clearly a loser Asian guy who doesn’t even have the guts to post as himself.
Guess what, Asian women don’t need to “look for a way out”, we don’t actually need a reason to NOT date Asians, or anyone, for that matter. Just because you’re born Asian doesn’t give you ownership to the Asian women, despite whatever your douchebag culture may entitle you to think.
To even suggest that female domestic abuse on male exceed male domestic abuse on female in Asia is just down right delusional.
I don’t think this hypothesis is true. If your hypothesis was true then a lot of White girls would refuse to date white guys. After all the cases of abusive and unfaithful fathers is much more prevalent in white families. But we know that most white girls who come from abusive father families still prefer white guys. So your hypothesis is lacking something. I put it down mainly to media though. The images of cool that girls see in the media are all white guys (Bruce lee excepting). And women are creatures who are very open to messages from the media. If you start bombarding the masses with images of cool asian guys and block out all other races, women from all races will flock to Asian guys. My two cents
cher,
Would you ‘lighten up’ please……well, the true dragon-lady has finally unleashed, or better yet, your true Asianess is showing! First of all, I’m half Romanian+Teuton/Saxon, so go figure if you can. Hint: the name. I also happen to work with many Asians and came to known the culture. You can say I do have some Asian friends, but I also have friends of various ethnic groups.
You come in here and post about your family problems and supposedly your ‘white father’ had abused your mother, and then you blamed the Asian man and his douchebag culture for your bitterness? Why, just why are you here reading and posting demeaning comments toward Asians when YOUR ‘white’ father had abused your mother or family? Because you’ve related your story to the Asians and they agreed with to your father actions? So from what you’re saying, all these Asian bastards agreed that an alcoholic white man has the right to beat the crap out of his wife and basically this gives you the right to come in here with all guns blazing and stir up negative remarks about Asian men??? I find that hard to believe that all Asians would agree to your father’s cowardice acts. Seriously, I don’t understand what you’re trying to imply or what your motives are other than self-hate for being an Asian.
Look here Asian lady, no one has the right to ‘owned’ anybody whatsoever, and you’re mistaken it for being “excessively controlled and abused” over ‘ownership’. Your family has a history of the problem (your father abuses women at home) doesn’t mean that you should blame and generalized all the men from your ‘douschebag culture’ as bad, then in turn looks for an excuse to get out…or better yet, let’s clear the air: you claimed to be ‘white’ and your white daddy had abused your mother, but you come in here to b.s. about the Asian man along with his douchebag culture, then ultimately you lay it ALL you can to the Asians just because your daddy had abused your mother, or maybe you included.
To me, this is a sure sign of self-hate coming straight out from an Asian woman which me thinks hated the very sight that is reflected to her from the mirror every day.
Sie sind verachtenswert!
On things for sure, all the effort asian men have been doing to ensure equality in the world by being educated, self improving, being just, and even standing up for our own women. Asian girls have ruined everything we have strived so hard for. Always having to stand up for ourselve against gangs of opposition. For what? Asian men don’t even get a hello when greeted; whites, blacks, hispanics, even animals greet each other. More white people have said hello to me more than any asian girl. People see that shit, and its really fucked up because one day your feeling down and you just want to brighten your day by treating others nicely, then to just be destroyed by so many of your own people. That just a small bit of the problem, the greater problem will be the many generations of asians will do the same thing to others, I’m am hurt to say that even if I had an asian daughter, she would do those things as well to her own people.
Danny,
Years ago where I used to work, we had a tight knit group and there was a Chinese (Taiwanese) man in our circle and he used to mentioned about his daughter (I think she must of been at the age of 10 or 11 at the time) that the little girl refused to have his mother drop her off in front of the school but on the sides where no one would see her mother. This happened here in the states! He told us that it was very painful to his wife and himself. I didn’t think for one moment that the parents were harsh on their children in any way because I have met most of them and they were hard-working people which loved and supported their family more than anything. I felt very bad for his wife because she was a sweetheart of a lady and any kid would of been lucky to have her as a mother. The thing I didn’t understand was why did the little girl went to that extent, was it shame? That was more than 16 years ago and I can only imagine how she is now.
@Wolfgang
That little kid was ashamed being Asian and was equally ashamed of “introducing” her mom to her (I presume) white school. This sort of mindset was (and still is) quite common among many categories of Asians. After decades/centuries of conditioning, this has become part of the Asian DNA. This can only explain why many Asians from zero years old till death harbor this kind of behavior. Without any kind of new brainwashing a new born Asian can behave like this. It will take much effort (beyond hard work and economics) to reverse the course and unlearn things.
Hopefully, that Asian kid grew out of it, and has learned to accept and be proud of their parents. You can pretend, but the fact is you are who you are, and the only way to become truly happy is to accept and EMBRACE your heritage. Even if your parents mistreated you, you’re only fooling yourself if you reject all Asian culture and people. You can reject everything, but look in the mirror, and you’ll see an Asian person; you’ll never be white, and will never fit in like your blonde friend. It’s better to be realistic.
Asians have a great heritage, and we have lots to learn from it. And, Asian kids need to understand the hardships their parents have gone through and are STILL going through. It’s hard being Asian in a foreign country. That’s not to say abuse is acceptable. It isn’t. But when you grow up, you’ll realize that your parents did their best, but they are flawed human beings who just didn’t have it all together even though as a child you hoped they did. Being an adult now, I look around me, and nobody has their shit together.
she just 11 years old girl, give her a break! Anyone can be insecure at any age. Yes, perhaps is a sign of hating being Asian.
What the parents should do is her talked to her about it and teach her she should not be ashamed letting her parents drop her off. Hey, its not the little girl false she doesn’t know how to handle what she experience inside her? Sure hell, I didn’t when I was kids nor do I remember my parents teach me being self-confident and stuff. All I did was hide hide hide and I have to do my shit most of the time. I can’t even talk to my parents about it because I knew they going complain so no point going up to them and I wasn’t comfortable talking about personally stuff either. What’s up with asian parent feel rather uncomfortable talking personally stuff? seriously?
The problem with Asian parents is they don’t communicate with their children especially when they are young. Also bitching and complaining to your kids not gonna help, they going to hate you even more. I remember my mom she knew what was going on with me in school and all she did was complain and yelled. WTF? it felt like she doesn’t give a shit about me or don’t care how i feel? This what I notice about Asian parents nagging and yelling when they tried to communicate to their kids or even ignored…. I’m sure everyone hate being nag and yell at as kid.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>That’s not to say abuse is acceptable. It isn’t. But when you grow up, you’ll realize that your parents did their best, but they are flawed human beings who just didn’t have it all together even though as a child you hoped they did. Being an adult now, I look around me, and nobody has their shit together.
OMG, I agree!
“And, Asian kids need to understand the hardships their parents have gone through and are STILL going through. It’s hard being Asian in a foreign country. That’s not to say abuse is acceptable. It isn’t. But when you grow up, you’ll realize that your parents did their best, but they are flawed human beings who just didn’t have it all together even though as a child you hoped they did. Being an adult now, I look around me, and nobody has their shit together.”
By Reflective Sam
I understand their hardships however I disagree that I should forgive my parents for their flaws. First off, in my case, my dad was never around for me because he worked/works overseas so he was never a father figure and I saw him maybe once a year. I’m pretty sure he and my mom have had major issues in the past that I don’t know about and/or he simply never wanted a family in the first place and only sends money because he feels it is his duty. I guess at least he has a sense of duty. Anyways it’s funny because the closest thing I ever had to a father figure was probably my Grandmaster at my old dojang and various male instructors. But I guess not having a dad made me a bit tougher as an individual but perhaps also contributed to my anger management issues. My mom was your stereotypical nagging Asian mom and clearly had/has psychological issues. I don’t think I can forgive my parents for their faults because they should never have had children, as they clearly had NONE of their shit together. I would rather never have existed than to have been born into a shitty ass family with major psychological/inter-family issues. Yeah sure I am a stronger individual partially because of it but also because of my own willpower and ability to use my hatred and anger for positive ends, but I would never wish such a thing on my own child.
If I ever have a child I will make sure that everything is in place and that I can be the best father I can be for him/her before ever having him/her. But anyways this Earth is such a terrible place I do not think I would be selfish enough to have a kid and make him live on this terrible planet only to suffer all the things I suffered and worse. So I think it would be better that I not have a kid for that never-to-exist child’s sake.
As for Asian women/girls hating Asian guys? Well there are a lot of them out there and girls are stupid and insecure in general even if book smart. Just look at how they need to put on tons of makeup to get attention from boys and try to use their sexuality to manipulate men. They are extremely mentally weak. I bet most would crack if they had to live life to the same standard as a man has to. We men are defined by our achievements so we must “do” but we must also look good to get a mate, so we must also “be,” while women basically just have to look good so they simply “be” (most men do not care about what kind of achievements women have) and women are also the ones doing the sexual selection and have their pick of potential mates because they get to do the selecting when asked out on a date. Since men must “do” and “be” just to get any small amount of respect while women simply have to “be,” I think that breeds less mental toughness in women and especially Asian women. I bet that an Asian girl in my position -> next to no friends, only a few acquaintances, not really popular, all due to racism (unconscious or not) would already be contemplating suicide or wishing she could get plastic surgery to become white. However, most men like me may have a moment of weakness at first, but in the end, we adopt a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, give white society a giant middle finger, and go on to achieve our goals, ignoring all the haters.
And remember “If people hate your for doing something well or performing well, that means you’re doing something right.” -Mike Tyson
“Now for more on the asian male dilemma:
“Globalizing Evolution
Female Choice, Nationality, and Perception of Sexual Beauty in China
Abstract
An evolutionary perspective on physical attractiveness suggests that individuals find those characteristics associated with reproductive success attractive. Theory and existing data consistent with this view link perceptions of physical attractiveness to traits such as symmetry, status, and reproductive value. Here, we take this evolutionary perspective global to ask how do Chinese men and women rate the sexual beauty of East Asian compared with Caucasian models? We enlisted 74 Chinese men and women from Hohhot, a northern city, and Chengdu, a southern city, to rank photos of both Chinese and Caucasian male and female models obtained from Chinese magazines. We also elicited emic accounts for the ratings as complementary source of qualitative data. Results revealed that Chinese women ranked Caucasian male and female models as more attractive. Chinese men, however, did not differentially rank East Asian and Caucasian women, though they did rank Caucasian men as being more attractive. We suggest that, while an evolutionary novelty, a process of globalization can still be linked to potentially adaptive preferences for physical attractiveness, and call for more research in this vein.”
http://unlv.academia.edu/PeterGray/Papers/1533010/Globalizing_Evolution_Female_Choice_Nationality_and_Perception_of_Sexual_Beauty_in_China
I am not personally advocating this dynamic, but as you can see, the issue is far more complex than mere ‘socialization’ – it is entangled in sensory biases with a basis in evolutionary success.”
A guy named paragon posted this somewhere else and I just wanted to share. See the issue here is that due to globalization and something inherent to Asians that make us self-hate more, Asian American girls end up being ashamed and disliking their own heritage. Of course some Asian guys also feel this way. This is a rather small sample size but it is interesting to read especially because we are talking about the opinions of NATIVE Asians not Asian Americans.
@ Takaki
It clearly mentioned “sexual beauty” and not merely “beauty”.
This is quite interesting and not trivial. When “sexual beauty” is mentioned one should note that we are in the realm of psychological manipulation (which also includes racism).
Also the article was about the opinion of some Chinese men and women. Since the vast majority of Chinese lived in an agrarian society, how can this survey be reliable? Just put it this way, the aim of this pseudo-analysis is to coerce people into implementing Caucasian men and women as their benchmark. This is carried out by using the age-old psychological weapon (a double-edged sword) which is sex.
Asian Americans are only offshoots of native Asians. By offshoots, I mean, if native Asians develop some self-hate (due to the manipulation already mentioned above), this self-hate can amplify exponentially among Asian Americans (to reach the epitome of self-hatred). Many will cross some point of no return where the difference between the two groups (of Asians) will become irreconcilable.
The whole phenomenon is quite complex and we are dealing here with nasty stuffs with nasty consequences. I won’t be surprised if a native Asian with a clear mind without any self-hate is declared persona non grata!
man! you guys are trading punches back and forth about this issue. The truth is that money is power. Money buys love. Those who said money does not buy love donot know where to shop!!! White people and many asian folks love to make fun of Chinese poeple or Chinese men in particular. I went to China and saw more than once dorky Chinese guys in Ferrari or Lambo with hot women of all races. Just to remind you, in China, you cannot finance those cars, you pay them all at once in cash!! Do you know how much our country owes China? The concept of weak man from China does not hold any more!! Just go to South America and go to the high-end clubs and see how dorky asians surrounded themselves with beatiful women whild white American and Asian American business men watch, drooling
Only in America where Asian women get so much attention and discussion. I am an asian male growing up in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Over here, most asian males have no trouble dating beautiful Brazilian girls. My Brazilian guy friends, educated and rich, have minimal interest in Asian women. We do run into obnoxious Asian American women tourists once in a while who obviously feel uneasy in a company of beautiful Brazilian women. They also wonder I am sure why none of the men even spare them a second look. In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is a king. In America, infested by fat ugly chicks, asian women stand out. Not in Europe or South America my friends!!
by the way, we asian males in Brazil do not have self-hatre. We love our lives. We have lots of respect from Brazilian people. We are Brazilians, not Asian Brazilians. Any Asian male who feel mistreated by your asian woman should visit Brazil. The trip would change your perspective of Asian women, the rude ones ofcourse! Suddenly, you see, they are no more than bunch of freaking prius wanting to be bugatti!!!
@ Tom Cluck
“man! you guys are trading punches back and forth about this issue. The truth is that money is power. Money buys love. Those who said money does not buy love donot know where to shop!!!”
So much for political correctness, hehe. Anyway this truth was there for millennia and no one notices it, thanks for the reminder …
@ Smuck
“Only in America where Asian women get so much attention and discussion. I am an asian male growing up in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Over here, most asian males have no trouble dating beautiful Brazilian girls. My Brazilian guy friends, educated and rich, have minimal interest in Asian women. We do run into obnoxious Asian American women tourists once in a while who obviously feel uneasy in a company of beautiful Brazilian women.”
Alright, every SAM should head for SAmerica and it will be game over!
I agree with SmucK.
Most of these rumors of asian girls not dating asian men are spread by nerds and dorks that are virgins. These asian men who complain are typically virgins with little experience with women in general.
They dress and look like nerds and dorks. And blame society for there failure. Look in the mirror. If you were a hot girl, would you date your self. NO!!! Why? because your a nerd…not because your asian. Stop complaining and start working out, make more money, dress nice, and learn some social skills. I use to look like a dork. Than I realize, girls don’t like nerds and dorks. Would you date a nerdy girl. No! because its boring and it would fucking suck.
In addition:
These asian nerds spread these rumors on internet, instead of stepping up to the challenge and actually living there life. Instead they hide on internets and talk shit about there tough dating life. When in reality they don’t approach any girls or try to ask them out. You have a bunch of virgins creating these false rumors.
The brazillian asian men are not afraid of women. They talk to them. That is key to success. Interaction with opposite sex.
Please asian nerds and dorks, please stop spreading these rumors about how asian girls dont date asian men.
Real asian men, don’t have problem with dating and talking to the opposite sex. Its the nerds, virgins, and dorks who have these issue.
Live your life, and face your fear.
@ Jerome, many of us work out/lift/bodybuild (and I can lift quite a bit for my size: 225 lb bench x 4 reps, 400 lb deadlift, two 90 lb dumbbells x 8 reps for dbbench, 115 lb barbell bicep curl, etc., and I have a decent and muscular body), and we have above average countenances/faces. So that is not really the issue. It is more the issue of not really having “game” because of long term isolation due to where we live and the racism that is prevalent in all of America with the exception of certain parts of San Francisco/California and certain parts of Washington state but even Seattle has the same old Asian males having issues dating-phenomenon. The thing is that in America it’s as if all other non-Asian races and ethnicities unite against us. Blacks, whites, latinos band together and bully and/or shun Asians. At least that has been my experience in suburbia/smaller-town-America.
We are not welcome here. So like you said about not having problems in Brazil I believe we Asian men need to learn to finance ourselves with the use of the internet so that we are not limited by location and can travel to any place with an internet connection (affiliate marketing, etc.) and then proceed to find women where we are appreciated such as Eastern European countries, non-Anglo-Saxon countries, or Southeast Asian countries.
http://www.happierabroad.com/Advice_Asian_Men.htm
Taken from the happier abroad website:
4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally. One can call this trend Romantic
Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after having discovered the US love market to be of unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing
them with dating opportunities, such men have decided to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have finally had the courage to claim a very important truth: It is not their fault that the US society has such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past) US culture and the media which reflects it. Also, since the Hollywood culture has infused its stereotypes into many other countries making things harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking
world, one needs to find a culture in which such stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.
The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where they are seen for what most of them truly are: diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of responsibility that should make any female proud.
Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men are very positive to begin with. They are seen as smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent
providers, too. They are not viewed as poor immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go
to such places and see for yourself.
International dating also allows an Asian man to finally meet numerous Caucasian women who look like Hollywood actresses, and who will be happy to be
involved with the man romantically and look up to him
If you are an Asian American man, I would urge you to explore this past option. However, you will need to know where to go. The world is a big place and it would make little sense to leave the US and go to, say, England or Australia. Or China for that matter- what with its huge surplus of men. It would not be
easy for you to compete with an army of several million bachelors scouting the Chinese countryside in search of brides.
The best places for Asian men are probably the following:
Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Cambodia and even Malaysia. Going there will allow such men to discover their true potential as respected and dignified dating and marriage partners. Asian guys coming from the US are highly sought after as husbands and lovers (even more so than Caucasian guys), and, upon arriving in those places, they will enjoy high status and be treated extremely well by the local female population.
In Europe, it seems that the countries whose ethnicities have had a high admixture of Asian “blood” (Tat-C chromosome) through past Asian migrations
there, welcome Asian men in ways that the US (or British, Australian, Canadian and any other society founded by British settlers) never has. Large areas in Eastern Europe, in particular, the Baltic countries of Estonia and Lithuania (currently EU members), have shown to be very accepting and friendly to American Asian males, and is a place where a growing number of such travelers have been able to find incredible opportunities for social life and romance. Many Asian men’s previously almost unattainable dream of finding a “gorgeous blond and blue-eyed girlfriend”, has came true with ease as soon as they started dating in those countries.
Belarus is another country where Asian men, even those who are not American, have been able to feel accepted, and where they have enjoyed good treatment and many new possibilities for abundant “romancing”.
Parts of Russia and other CIS countries (outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg) have also been described as very good for such Asian men although the growing Fascist element in the country is making it more and more dangerous for foreigners by the year. Still, if one knows his way around these places, one will do very well there and be able to avoid trouble in the process.
Parts of Brazil, according to some sources, have proven to be excellent, and some Asian men have been able to mingle freely with the local population and
date beautiful women there.
France is another country in which Asian men (those who can speak French- a necessity there) have reported that they have been treated quite well by the local females. They were finally able to date as normal human beings should, and, quite possibly, get married as normal human beings should. Upon arrival in the US, however, they would more often than not again face ostracism from the majority of the US women.
Yes, this ostracism seems to be a sad reality for many an Asian man in the “Anglo Saxon” world, and it is high time for decisive steps be taken to solve that
insidious problem. Waiting around until the attitudes and stereotypes of the American society change for the better (which may take decades) does not seem to be an effective technique of solving it. Hence, such love travel appears to be a surgically efficient way of dealing with it.
So, maybe it is time to do some research, save up some money and buy that ticket. You will be able to solve the dateless-ness and gloom that many Asian guys face in America by living in more than one country. Unless you look like the Hunchback of Notredame or are the Elephant Man, the success is virtually guaranteed because quite a few Asian men are already doing the same and are reporting excellent results.
It may not be an easy path to take, but the rewards will be tremendous. You may have to learn new languages, new rules and customs, and whole new ways of life. However, your own life will be rewarding beyond your wildest dreams. The only very important condition that you need to fulfill is to be able to support yourself while on the go, which is becoming more and more possible with the help of the Internet and the general globalization of the business environment. Becoming a computer programmer online, running a money-making website, living off rents, and doing similar things whereby you are able to create a cash flow from anywhere in the world, will liberate you from having to be located in the US all the time and depending on the unfriendly (to you) US (or the UK, Australian, etc.) love market.
Life in many countries of the world is now very similar to life in the US. The rest of the world is now becoming developed and very similar to America in
terms of the variety of products, services and business opportunities. You may even, one day, wish to open a business in one of those countries. One only
need to dare to leave one’s 9-5 job in the US as one’s romantic future does not seem to bode well for one who dates there. Also, it would be better if one started out as young as possible lest one end up a frustrated middle-aged man who has missed his chance.
So, if you are an Asian American man (or a citizen of any other immigrant nation such as Australia, Canada, NZ, or even the UK), and you feel that life and love are passing you by, do not become despondent. Internationalize yourself! You will soon be living a life that you truly deserve to live.”
K Takaki,
I’m on your side. From what I read on this site, your experience with women are quite limited. I believe you are a virgin and very young. I belive you are not even 21. Correct. I’m not puttying you down. I’m saying you lack experience with women, how can you say all this is true. When you have not gone out there and confront your fears.
My question to you and others on this site. How many girls do you approach a week? And how many girls do you ask out a week?
I would say zero and zero. How can you succeed with white, asian or black women, if you don’t approach or interact. Come one, does that make sense.
Takakai you know your asian history. But please put down the books and start talking to girls.
K Takaki,
I’m on your side. From what I read on this site, your experience with women are quite limited. I believe you are a virgin and very young. I belive you are not even 21. Correct. I’m not puttying you down. I’m saying you lack experience with women, how can you say all this is true. When you have not gone out there and confront your fears.
My question to you and others on this site. How many girls do you approach a week? And how many girls do you ask out a week?
I would say zero and zero. How can you succeed with white, asian or black women, if you don’t approach or interact. Come one, does that make sense.
@ KTakaki
That’s a really interesting read. Where did you get that article, BTW? I’d like to know the source and the other info on the site. We really are the victims of traditional US policies and backward thinking, man. If you are young and can afford to do it, try going abroad as the article says. In my case, I went to Japan after college to reconnect with my roots. What I found when I got there was that lots of women were interested in me, and I was going on SO many dates. Just like you, I didn’t have a lot of luck in the states, and I had a lot of baggage. But, after living there a few years, I gained a lot of confidence, and brought it back with me. In Asia, you feel a sense of belonging that you just don’t get here, even if you don’t speak perfectly. I really loved that sense of community there. It just felt right, and it didn’t feel like a struggle as it feels like here in the US sometimes.
BTW, where in the states do you live? Just hang in there, bro. Sometimes I feel a lot of anger, too. But, anger is just not a good state to be in. You know that. If you do martial arts, you know that the way is to become at peace and clear your mind of emotions. Anger is one of the most taxing emotions to your system. In moments of clarity, you can look around you, and you can tell most people aren’t racist; they could care less about you since they are so stuck in their own thoughts. Most people are self-centered and don’t even think about these issues. Just regain your composure, and maybe get out of hicksville if that’s where you are.
@Smuck
I am so interested in hearing more about Asians in Brazil. I know that long ago, Japanese immigrated there, and flourished there. I’ve met a few Japanese Brazilians who were really laid back and love the Brazilian culture/lifestyle. Is there a very big population of Asians over in Brazil? Do they tend to stick together, or have they assimilated? Are there any anti-Asian sentiments or challenges?
Thanks all. Great thread.
There is a huge Asian population, especially Japanese, in Sao Paulo. From my experience, there is significantly more racial assimilation in Brazil for the Asian males compared to the United States, where I spent several years there studying. This is true regardless of the social and economic status of the Asian males. I think Brazilians respect qualities known to possessed by Asians such as hard working, intelligence, even shyness to name the few. Lots of beautiful Brazilian girls actually prefer shy asian guys to macho latin dudes. Very interesting I have to say. Brazilian men, known to immerse in a very Macho culture, do not spend their lives dwelling on putting down Asian males or obsessing about their penis sizes like American white males!!!
@ Jerome
Haha yes you are correct but I am almost 21. I will be 21 within a month or so. Yes part of it is my fault in that I have pretty high standards which means I do not think most girls that I see worthy of even approaching, but then again I am not a bad looking guy and I do my best to look good, so I am not just going to go around shotgun-asking girls out on a date especially if they are nowhere near my standards. Also the girls I would be asking out are the shorter/cute (5′-5’6″) Caucasian or Latina gals versus the sorority type girl, so I am not reaching for anything that is out of my league really.
The main issue is that most girls that I DO like are already taken or are on their 5th or 6th boyfriend. So I see a girl I like and I start talking to her but then later she mentions that she has to meet her boyfriend, or I see her sometime later with antoher guy holding hands, etc. Not only that but I have been approached by some cute white gals before (twice), but both turned out to have pretty shitty personalities, which I gleaned just by talking to them in our first conversation. And you have to realize that even if I am an objective 7 to 8/10 in Asia or perhaps other countries in the world, I am something like a 5/10 here or worse simply because I am Asian, so thinking it through rationally it is not exactly worth my time, money, and effort to go chasing after these girls when I have more important things to focus on anyways (school, job, etc.). And honestly if I never find a girlfriend here, well I’m ok with that because I have dignity and I’m not going to lower myself to their level just because the media here devalues my actual value on the sole basis of my race. I just say fuck it and go on living my life because most of the time I’m doing fine without having to worry about a naggy girl and her needs and whatnot, especially with the age of princess syndrome American gals. So your question about “it’s all numbers” is sort of irrelevant in my case because that is first of all not my style, and second of all would take too much time, effort, and money for the end result to be worth it. Maybe getting a girls number and persuading her to sleep with you boosts your ego or seems like some kind of conquest or achievement to you, but to me, I find that it would mean nothing and would just be a huge waste of time, especially if the girl is only about average or objectively not as attractive as I am. Hell I could probably increase all my lifts by 40 lbs each and greatly increase my skill in martial arts in the time it takes going around fruitlessly trying to get the attention of attention-whore women who are usually nothing more than gold diggers or shallow-ass attention whores whom rely on the attention they receive to validate themselves. I refuse to put pussy on a pedestal. I have no respect for such talent-less, completely shallow, and sometimes not even good looking girls. The thing with American girls it that they know Asian guys are devalued in America, so the ones who are “less valuable” try to trick the more valuable Asian guys into dating “down.” I’m not falling for that shit.
So really I am not so much complaining about my own lack of success because that is entirely on me and yes it is because I don’t really go out and ask a lot of girls, but I have more important shit to do than to feed the egos of attention whore women who think their pussies entitle them to be placed as queens upon pedestals. What I AM complaining about is how we Asian men are less valuable here “intrinsically” because of the media-stereotype-created social brainwashing of women. And to a certain extent the absurdity of hating shorter guys (I’m 5’6″) even if the shorter guy can beat up guys quite a bit bigger than him (or at least hold his own in a fight) and can lift over 400 lbs… Afraid that the shorter man cannot protect them my ass. The best wrestlers are between 5’6″ and 5’10″ (not talking about WWE roided up guys).
@ Reflective Sam
I kind of use my anger/frustrations to fuel my motivations to improve myself, especially in terms of bodybuilding and martial arts. And sometimes to KO the other guy when I am in a fight but beware red vision/tunnel vision because it is not good in a fight. In a fight you have to use a sort of cold, controlled, icy rage and only explode in true anger when you know the opponent is about to lose and you have to finish it. It is my personal form of revenge against society. Haha it sounds kind of like I am using the Dark Side and I think I actually am, so in a way you are correct that it is not optimal for mental health but I was never really mentally healthy in the first place (because of society). But at least I am taking some negative energy and channeling it into something positive for me. Honestly I do not agree that clearing your mind always works. It works some of the time but when there is so much negative energy constantly going into your body from society, the media, etc. you cannot just purge that energy by meditating and trying to wipe your mind clean. You have to take that energy and “channel” it out of your body.
I’m not sure about the “not racist” thing. Maybe it is because I kind of live in hickville despite this being a university town, but in moments of “clarity” I realize just HOW racist this world can be and how fucking racist many people are. They might be stuck in their own heads sometimes but that doesn’t mean they do not harbor ill feelings towards people of a certain race. In fact it probably makes it worse because they are in their own heads so much that they are not cognizant of racial issues or just brush them away because it has no effect on them (and being so stuck in their heads, you can tell they are pretty self absorbed).
Anyways I am definitely going to try to visit Japan someday so that I can get that sense of belonging, though I have to work on learning the culture more in depth, as well as become semi-fluent in the language.
Kataki@
You sound like a smart guy who has try to improve himself. I like the fact you are workingout and studying martial arts. Still. How many girls have you ask out in one week? that is the key to success. It is a numbers game.
You have to particpate in dating.
Watching from the sideline is not the answer.