Man, it’s crazy. I see a bunch of my SAM friends sitting around talking about girls, and they say ‘Man, she’s hot!’ or ‘I wanna ask her on a date’, etc.. But, meanwhile, these stallions have issues with their personality, they wear white-washed jeans, they are as sexy as a Gilbert Godfried, they have no confidence, etc…My point is simply that if you think she’s ‘hot’, then YOU better be ‘hot’. If she’s ‘interesting’, YOU better be ‘interesting’. If she’s sexy, YOU better be. If she has a great body, YOU better be fit, too. So, ask yourself what you have to offer her. What is it about YOU that is so special? Why would she pick YOU above all the other guys who are black, white, or Asian? Guys hate it when girls say ‘accept me for who I am’, so you better not play that pathetic game, either. Work on improving yourself. As a super shy introvert, I’ve always worked hard on my expression, and it’s something you can improve. The first step is to take inventory of what you have and don’t have, and start developing your skills.
Now, don’t get all superficial and think that it’s all about the bling blang, or the clothes, or your car. It matters to a degree, but keep it simple. Just dress nice, and smell nice. Stay clean. If you start acting superficial and getting these expensive toys, you’re gonna just attract superficial girls. (<- I notice this trend with Korean and Chinese people…) The girls with the great personalities and smiles don’t fall for that stupid shit. I’m with a great, beautiful girl, both internally and externally, and I’m just average looking…(though I’m stylin’). The only reason I can think of for why she is with me is because of my personality. I’m no longer shy, I make her laugh, I’m responsible, I’m clean, I’m fit, I’m fun and well-rounded, and I aggressively pursued her. Sounds like a lot but it really isn’t. These are the basics, man!
The most important thing is your attitude and sex appeal. Stop treating the girl like she’s a man. Break the boundaries. Stop being just a friend. Show that you are interested in her. Be fun and spontaneous and rude. Act like a rock star.
No related posts.
Word up man, word up! You see, too many SAMs are picky but they don’t have anything to offer. Why in the hell would the gorgeous girl pick your sorry ass? SAMs need to work for it. Get some nice clothes, put some style in your attire. Get some decent cologne. Fix your hair. Get some good jokes. Be charming. Be aggressive. Be smooth. Be considerate yet don’t be a push-over. And just be cool. Work out so you can look good, feel good. Exercise. Stop drinking so much and being a couch potato. Guys like girls who are pretty, stylish, dress nice, and look good. It’s the same with girls.
This is a copy and paste from another reply but I find this relevant to this topic:
Hey I just wanted to say that I think you are doing a great job with this site, SAM. It’s definitely nice to read about the experiences of other SAMs.
Anyways as for the topic above about Asian men only ever getting the “leftovers,” I believe this is definitely true for the most part. One example is my Uncle, who married a white woman who had two kids in her previous marriage. My Aunt is a nice woman but is hardly what I would call a very “attractive” white woman, as she is quite overweight and face-wise is kind of plain. But of course love and looks are subjective so who knows, my uncle probably saw something in her.
In my two years at one of the more prestigious universities in the USA, I saw that most white chicks don’t ever give Asian guys a chance and the rare few Asian guys who did/do get white girls were the top dogs of the Asian fraternity and even then their gfs weren’t the most attractive and some were quite plain. Even if you are muscular, pretty good looking for an Asian dude (I get Tae Yang-ed a lot), can bench/deadlift/squat quite a bit, are athletic (such as being pretty good at martial arts, whatever), get decent grades, are intelligent, etc. basically you represent manliness, if you are short (5’8? or below), you are fucked. Basically white girls and girls in general don’t care if you can bench 225 lbs 4 times at a body weight of 153 lbs, deadlift 400 lbs, can beat up that tall 6? guy with three moves, etc. If you are short, they automatically write you off even as fuckbuddy material and even if you don’t want to have kids. All because of height.
Ok putting aside my height rant, which is about myself by the way, even some of my taller Asian buddies (6?) have trouble with chicks just because they are Asian or don’t look like Brad Pitt and they usually end up with not so good looking girls or the “ugly friend” of the decent looking girl.
Basically what P Ray said was spot on. It’s as if Asian men have to put so much effort into themselves just to get shit as a reward. It’s like white chicks, especially white American chicks expect that they deserve only Asian American men who are popstar quality if the Asian dude were to go back to Asia. The sense of entitlement that these girls have is disgusting not to mention the serious princess syndrome a lot of my generation (late teens to early 20s) have.
And don’t get me started on Asian American girls and Asian girls. Personally I don’t like Asian chicks because I find most too cray cray to deal with but the fact that so many AA girls don’t like dating AA guys just because they are Asian or not as manly as the 6? tall white, muscular bodybuilder is fucked up. Also like melektaus said, Asian American girls usually do their best to destroy any kind of argument an Asian American guy has by talking about how Asian guys are chauvinist this chauvinist that. And because of our ancestors supposedly being chauvinist, we Asian men deserve to have no women in this world love us (actually China is very matriarchal and Asian women usually control the relationships, white men reading this, beware, because Asian chicks are often devilish dragonladies or just plain messed up in the head).
We try are best, achieve some pretty impressive… achievements, yet we still get shafted. It’s as if god has decreed that Asian men, no matter how much we improve ourselves, will always be left to spend Friday and Saturday nights with Ms. Left and Ms. Right in a dark room, the blinds down, and the computer screen playing XXX material.
In the end all I can say is fuck the world. I’ll do what I enjoy, improve myself physically, athletically, and mentally for my own satisfaction. And since women in general hate Asian dudes, I have no desire to love them. I’ll just pretend to love them, use them as fucktoys and then chuck them. If I do happen to meet a caucasian, eastern european, or latina chick that I actually like, I’ll do my best to love her. But that’s a 1/100000000000000 chance anyways.
Also for all you white guys saying “man up and stop complaining” I’ve already done a shitload of manning up so you can shove those words up your ass.
Semper Fi.
@Controversial SAM:
SAMs are picked when they are the last resort.
Why should they circulate money through the entertainment industry that teases but does not deliver? Why should they spend it on women that do not plan on reciprocating in any way?
@All:
Have what the “hot girl” wants, and she will find you attractive.
Do not hand it over, until you get what you want.
Remember that a “hot girl” with all her mental instability, is a very disloyal and expedient person.
So make sure you have everything up and legit … for a no-strings situation.
I’m not in favour of the player lifestyle …
but if someone wants to go that way, at least do it right. No single moms, no over-the-hill divorcees, and no mature women. Don’t be the SAM whiteknight chump that is considered last.
Throwing good money on the “promise” of something to come later, is stupid.
Better to invest it somewhere in a utility that makes it easier to get ahead (and some head).
If being in the public eye is something SAMs don’t like, save the money and put it into something physical.
Hot girls always need jobs, places to stay, people to bum rides off of, people to do their work for them.
Never give away those things for free.
SAMs trying to be players, very often wind up outplayed and out-of-money, by some honey that wants to pit them against guys of other ethnicities (since that’s her gambit for making the most out of the day – trying to make SAMs jealous).
K Takaki
Damn man, that’s some serious rage there. Do you live in AZ? haha, cuz I feel like that sometimes too. Just depends on the location and the timing but I definitely feel that same sentiment more often than not. I wouldn’t say its outright impossible to find a good looking girl that digs a SAM but I would agree we generally have to work 2 to 3 times as hard to get the same amount of notice a lot of times. As an example a previous roommate I lived with didn’t do shit and wasn’t worth shit socially or professionally when I was living with him, but I hung out with him for a while just to keep him from staying depressed. He was a good guy he just sucked ass at adapting to about any situation and didn’t try beyond anything he was already familiar with. On the whole, not a great catch on his own for the ladies. But you know what? That bastard got more looks and approaches than I did simply cuz he was white. Furthermore those looks were sure as hell were out for him, cuz a couple of times I literally didn’t even get acknowledged as standing right next to him by a chick and ALL her friends. The first time that ever happened I just figured maybe I misjudged him but he tells me later that shit never really happened to him before when he’d go out alone; that’s why he stopped doing it. At first it didn’t really bother me, but after awhile it became clear he took me along because he was using me as the minority pedestal, to make himself look better and get more women to open up with him than if he’d gone there by himself. Basically, he looks less creepy and more approachable with another “someone” talking to him but that other guy may as well be part of the furniture or a prop because the reasonably good looking girl and all her friends just assume its okay if no one pays that other “someone” any attention even if just to be polite. You know, like how a bright star is only bright in relation to the dimmer stars around it? That kind of deal. I bring up that analogy because in most of AZ it seems that folks are pretty insular. They predominantly date and marry within their race and this is reflected in the clubs and bars we were hanging out at too. Didn’t matter where we went if he and I were out, I had to bust my ass 2 to 3 times as hard to get anyone’s attention. Didn’t matter if it was his turn to be wingman or not.
Definitely got to agree with the confidence and cool style. I mean not like I do it on purpose or anything but just my own personality of being a smartass gets alot of attention from girls even before the white guy. And to K Takaki I’m just 5’8″ so nothing to brag about in the height game. But when the hot chicks see you talk some meathead 6’2″ white dude into a corner using his own words and nothing else, she’ll notice you.
imho we as SAMs have it rough only because of the social media. Social media tells girls that white guys are sweet and charming with a bad boy attitude, that black guys are tough with a big dick yet sensitive with a big dick and did I mention the dick? It’s big. And finally when it comes down to us SAMs we’re shy weak feeble with a bad accent so that if we sing we sound like William Hung and our dicks are teeny weeny and we’re bookworms that really aren’t smart because we can’t use any of those smarts in the real world and if there’s even one grain of goodness to our personality its simply that we’re a deadpan no personality no nonsense martial artist dude that knows nothing of the modern world because our chop suey rules all thoughts in our silly backwards heads still living in the middle ages. That or we’re communists.
If you’re confident enough and you show the girls just how much better you are to the media representation, she’ll get it. She’ll open her eyes and then you just have to hope she doesn’t do a 180 and go all Jpop “kawaii” girl on you.