Here’s the deal. I immigrated to the U.S. around grade school. I didn’t speak a word of English except “Sluts”, “Bitches”, and “Hos” and it was grossly broken. But ever since then and to this very day, I get asked stupid ignorant questions by White people. And they are totally 100% serious. Now, I’m not saying these people are racist, per se, but I do think they may be a little ignorant. Stupid is stupid does.
The one that really annoys me is “How come your English is so good?”
The one that I’ve been hearing since the day I got off the boat is “Do you know Karate?”
The one that I used to get all the time from stupid white kids in grade school is “Hey, what’s my name in Chinese?” I would reply, “Uhh…it’s John, John.”
The one I detest – “How come your Orientals’ eyes are slanted?” I would just reply, “I don’t know round eyes!“
I get this all the time from White folks, “Hey, you’re pretty tall for an Asian.”
I love this one, “Hey, do you know of any good Chinese restaurants around here?” (Uhh, do I look like a motherfucking Chinese food delivery man or something?…Schezuwan Mandarin Palace is on 48th and 3rd.)
And then sometimes, they just don’t get it – “Hey, so, uhh…are you Chinese or Japanese?” I would reply, “I’m Korean.” But then they would ask again, “So…does that mean you’re Chinese or Japanese?” Then I’d just reply, “I’m Germaican biyatch!”
Going back to the slanted eyes, this one actually cracks me up – “Hey, can you see when you smile?” (Ha, when I smile, I actually can’t see jack shit!)
And my favorite of all time – “Do you smell that shit? It smells like garlic up on this motherfucker!” (Hehe, yeah, it’s me!)
What do you mean can we see when we smile? Of course we can…it’s just more like widescreen that’s all.
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